


Room 505

by darkjinko



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I think?, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Pain, Soulmate AU, almost, i am regretting this, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:27:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkjinko/pseuds/darkjinko
Summary: "You were you,and I was I;we weretwo,before our time.I wasyours,before I knew;and you have alwaysbeenminetoo."—Lang Leav, Love and Misadventure.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 20
Kudos: 118





	Room 505

**Author's Note:**

  * For [7eternity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/7eternity/gifts).



The overwhelmingly strong scent of antiseptics, bleach, blood, the metallic scent of stainless steel, and the barely-noticeable scent of flowers. The widely-known complex scent that welcomes you when you first step foot into a hospital. A scent Iwaizumi Hajime wasn’t too familiar with because he rarely had a reason to go to one, and Iwaizumi considered himself blessed. Today, he is visiting one of his friends who got into an accident recently. He puts on the mandatory medical face mask before he made his way to the front desk.

“Good afternoon, sir.”

“Uh, good afternoon. I am here to see Hanamaki Takahiro.”

“Are you related?”

“I’m a friend.”

“Ah. He’s in room 503. Please sign here then take the elevator on the left to the fifth floor.”

Iwaizumi grabs the entrance sheet and signs it then hands it back to the nurse. He murmurs ‘thank you’ as he walks over to the elevator. The elevator bings and its doors slide open. The ride takes a minute or so, then Iwaizumi walks out of the elevator and instinctively looks up to look for the room signs. Rooms 500 to 510 are to the right.

He gets a notification as he makes his way to Hanamaki’s room. Being unaware of his surroundings for a moment while he fishes his phone out of his back pocket, he accidentally bumps into someone.

He turns to apologize to the person but the person beats him to it. “Oh, I’m very sorry. Didn’t see you there!” The person says cheerfully and walks away from Iwaizumi, who stood still for a moment, almost too quickly for him to make out a face. What catches his eyes are the tube hanging over their ears and the small oxygen tank they’re dragging along with them. ‘They’re a patient? I thought all patients were grumpy to an extent,’ he thought to himself but quickly carried on his way to room 503.

He knocks lightly on the frame of the wide-open door to ask for permission to come in. “Oh, Iwa! You came!” says a bedridden but quite joyful Hanamaki. Maybe it’s true that not all patients are gloomy. Iwaizumi smiles a little and walks in, handing him the goods bag. “Aww, Iwa, you got me a gift? You didn’t have to.”

“I just got you candy. You like this sweet shit too much.”

“Yes. Yes, I do. Thanks, man. Have a seat.”

Iwaizumi grabs a chair and carries it to place it beside Hanamaki before he’s startled by a loud crash coming from outside followed by someone saying, “Oh, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to!” He recognizes the voice as the person he bumped into earlier. How much trouble can a patient get themselves into? Maybe they weren’t even a patient, just a noisy visitor.

He places the chair in his hands next to the bed and before he takes a seat, somebody knocks at the door. “Yahoo! Good afternoon, Makki.”

“Ah, the great king. What trouble did you cause now?” Hanamaki smirks as the guy he referred to as ‘the great king’ approached him.

“Accidentally knocked off a cup on my bedside. No big trouble! Just taking my usual afternoon walk around the hospital, as you know.”

Iwaizumi can see his face clearly now. Warm brown eyes matching with his short fluffy light brown hair. His skin is sort of pale. Breathing tube stuck in his nostrils and the rest of it hanging off his ears. His body was much thinner up close. The heartwarming smile on his lips is what caught Iwaizumi’s attention the most.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Oikawa, this is Iwaizumi Hajime; my friend from high school. Iwa, this is the hospital’s source for all noise complaints; Oikawa Tooru.”

Oikawa smiles and extends his hand to Iwaizumi. “Nice to meet you, _Iwaizumi._ ”

* * *

Iwaizumi sighs in relief when he finally finds an empty spot in the hospital parking lot. After successfully parking his car, he turns off the engine and sits still for a few minutes because he arrived earlier than he was expected. It’s been a week since he first visited Hanamaki and now that he’s being released, Iwaizumi offered to help and drive him home. For the past week, Oikawa would hang out with Hanamaki almost every day. Iwaizumi would hear his signature greeting as soon as he arrives in room 503 like clockwork.

He wasn’t sure what to make of the guy because he doesn’t know much about him other than; One: he’s very loud. Two: he’s very sociable. And three: he gets in a lot of trouble ‘accidentally’ as he would say. Iwaizumi suddenly realizes he never actually asked Oikawa what his condition is, and he mentally facepalms himself at the realization. ‘Ugh, stupid.’

He gets out of his car and makes his way over to Hanamaki’s room. To his surprise, Oikawa was already there and he was sitting at the end of Hanamaki’s bed. “Oh, Iwaizumi is here! I was thinking of taking little Makki here on a walk with me since it’s his last day. Maybe cause a little trouble here and there.” Oikawa chuckles and Hanamaki rolls his eyes at him.

Iwaizumi might be perceived as a quiet guy, but he dislikes nothing more than people who are annoying for no reason. And to him, Oikawa was that person right now. “You’re such a spoiled annoying brat. Do you even have any respect for the sick people in here?” He blurts out with no filter.

At most times, Iwaizumi tries to keep his bold and too-honest comments to himself, but for some reason, those words just shot off his tongue like daggers aiming for Oikawa’s ego. Oikawa’s smile drops and Hanamaki looks visibly concerned. “Hey, Iwa, Oikawa is just kidding. He doesn’t actually- “

“No, it’s fine. He’s right. I do sound like I intended to cause trouble. I didn’t want to sound like a troublemaker to you, and I promise you I meant nothing wrong. The ‘sick’ people in here don’t want to be reminded of their sickness all the time. They just need a laugh now and then. But what do I know? Maybe I should stop being an annoying brat.” Oikawa smiles as he gets off the bed and walks towards Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi feels nervous for a reason he can’t pinpoint when Oikawa approaches him. He wants to say he’s sorry for being inconsiderate but he can’t seem to find his voice.

Before he could speak his thoughts, Oikawa speaks again. “Anyways, I should get going. Goodbye, Hanamaki! Hope I get to see you again, but anywhere but here though. And goodbye, Iwaizumi.” He chuckles once more and walks past Iwaizumi out of the room.

Hanamaki looks at Iwaizumi with his disappointed mom look. They both know it isn’t in his nature to snap at random people. Even he doesn’t know why he said those words.

A nurse knocks at the door and asks, “Hanamaki-san, do you require any assistance in packing or your discharge forum?” Hanamaki nods and thanks the nurse then shoots a ‘what are you standing here for?’ look at Iwaizumi.

He clears his throat. “I’m gonna go check something at the vending machine.” Iwaizumi walks out of the room and makes his way back to the elevator. Just as he was about to get to the elevator to go to the front desk, he spots a nurse standing there. “Ah, excuse me. Do you know where is Oikawa Tooru’s room?”

“Oh, Oikawa-san? He’s in room 505.”

Room 505. Thank god he was on the same floor.

“Thank you.” He says and turns back around down the right hallway. He passes Hanamaki’s room and sees him struggling to walk with the crutches while the nurse helps him out. He stands in front of the closed door of room 505 and sighs. ‘Well, here goes nothing,’ he tells himself and knocks on the door lightly.

He hears a faint ‘come in’ before he opens the door slowly and peeks his head in. He sees Oikawa sitting on his bed bouncing a volleyball gently between his hands. He looks behind him and his eyes widen when he sees Iwaizumi standing by the door. His shocked expression quickly softens into a warm smile as he says, “Oh, come in.”

Iwaizumi walks in and stands in front of him, nervously scratching the back of his head. “Uh, I’m sorry for being too rude with you, Oikawa. You seem like a nice guy and...” Get to the point, genius. “I was inconsiderate and cruel. I’m sorry.”

Oikawa looks at him for a few moments then chuckles lightly. “I am not mad at you. You were being honest, and I like that about you.” He gestures towards an empty chair for Iwaizumi to sit. Iwaizumi mumbles a ‘thank you’ as he sits down. The minute he looks back at Oikawa, he throws the volleyball into his arms which Iwaizumi caught effortlessly.

“Do you play?”

“Used to. I am told I was talented. But look at you! You are very muscular. Do you play any sports?”

“Mhm. I used to play volleyball in high school. Now, I am a pro volleyball player. Captain of the MSBY Black Jackals.”

Oikawa’s mouth gapes open in excitement and exclaims, “Aw, I wish we could've played together! That would’ve been so nice.”

Iwaizumi smiles at Oikawa’s expression and nods. “Maybe we could play together sometime.” Oikawa raises an eyebrow and points at the oxygen tank, giving Iwaizumi an ‘are you serious?’ look. “Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot. Forgive me.”

“It’s fine. I wish I could forget about it, too.” He adjusts his tube and looks down, a sad smile forming on his lips. Before Iwaizumi could point it out, Oikawa looks up at him with a much brighter smile. “I would love to hang out and watch you play, though. Can we do that?”

Iwaizumi’s first thought was ‘I can’t take the responsibility of a sick person.’ He wanted to say something like ‘maybe’ and slowly let him down but that damned smile on his face and the way his eyes shined, he couldn’t refuse even if he wanted to and he couldn’t understand why.

“Yeah, of course. Just give me your number and we’ll pick the time and place.”

_“Sounds like a plan, Iwa-chan.”_

* * *

“I am sorry, Oikawa. I didn’t know it’d be raining today.” Iwaizumi plays awkwardly with the McDonald’s menu in front of him. Three weeks ago, he promised Oikawa they’d hang out sometime because he wanted to watch him play volleyball. After texting back and forth for the past three weeks trying to find a day suitable for the two of them, the only day they picked just happened to be a rainy day. Tough luck.

Oikawa seems unfazed though. He was particularly radiating happiness the entire time even when it rained down on them and they had no umbrellas. He smiles at Iwaizumi and ruffles his hair a bit to get the water out of it. “It’s okay. I am more than fine with a McDonald’s hangout.” He picks the metallic tissue dispenser and tries fixing his hair with its reflection.

Iwaizumi hums and feels relieved for a moment before a random thought passes through his mind which makes him facepalm. Like actually facepalm. “Oh my god, I’m stupid!”

Oikawa gets startled and looks at him with concern, “Is something wrong?”

“We’re at a fast-food restaurant, and I didn’t even ask if you’re allowed to eat fast food. I am an idiot!” Iwaizumi grunts and slams his head on the table. He can’t look Oikawa in the eyes because of how embarrassed he felt, and his embarrassment suddenly intensified when Oikawa laughed. He looked up and saw Oikawa placing a hand on his heart and tilted his head back while he laughed. His laugh was addictive like you could never get enough of it. To Iwaizumi, he looked ten times more beautiful when he laughed. Thankfully, Oikawa was too occupied with laughing to notice Iwaizumi staring at him.

“Oh, Iwa-chan, you’re killing me!” He shakes his head and his laughter dies down gradually, but he remains smiling. “I can eat any food, dummy. I just won’t eat much because I can’t rely on sports to lose weight now, can I?”

‘You are already skinny enough, Oikawa. I wonder what you’ve been through.’ Iwaizumi thought.

“Besides, I don’t want to add heart problems to my list of problems. I’ll just order a light meal.” He grabs the menu that is placed in front of him and begins scanning through it, picking what he feels like eating today.

“Uh, I...” Iwaizumi starts, feeling embarrassed already by the stupid statement he’s just about to make. “I just realized I never asked what your... condition is.”

Oikawa doesn’t look away from the menu as he answers like it’s nothing important, “I had lung carcinoma. Oh, I think I’ll order the Teriyaki McBurger with a small side of fries. What do you think?”

“Lung carcinoma?”

“Lung cancer. Also, I’ll get a large orange juice. Have you picked yet?”

“Oikawa.”

Oikawa stops and puts the menu down. He tried to avoid Iwaizumi’s gaze the entire time he was blabbering about his order because he couldn’t look him in the eyes. Iwaizumi wasn’t the type to shy away from uncomfortable topics, and he needed to know Oikawa’s story. Oikawa finally looks at him and sees his intense stare as if he was trying to say ‘I’m not buying your carefree act.’

He smiles at him softly and begins talking. “I found out when I was still in high school. I was in the gym warming up before volleyball practice when...”

_“Hey, Oikawa-san! You’re here early!” Oikawa turned around and followed the source of the voice. He immediately smiled and waved at Hinata, who came running into the gym along with a usually-grumpy Kageyama._

_“Good morning, Shouyou. You two are a little bit late today, aren’t you?”_

_“Yeah it’s because there was water spilled over the staircase and before we noticed it, Kageyama slipped and_ — _“_

_“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, stupid.” Kageyama shot death glares into Hinata while somehow angry-pouting like an angry cat. Hinata was visibly shaking in fear for his life at that point._

_Oikawa chuckled and grabbed his water bottle before looking at the two youngsters and said, “It’s fine, Tobio-chan I already got a good image of what happened.”_

_He chuckled and opened his bottle cap to take a sip when he felt a sharp pain in his chest. He thought, ‘Maybe it’s because I haven’t played for 2 weeks due to my injury.’ He felt a cough bubbling inside him and threatening to come out._

_“Oikawa-san, are you okay?”_

_“Y-Yeah, I’m fine, Shouyou. Don’t worry” He tried once again to hold back the cough when he couldn’t anymore. He started coughing like crazy, blood splattering out of his mouth and onto the gym floor. He felt his knees giving in and falling to the ground. He could hear Hinata screaming and Kageyama screaming for help while trying to hold him up. Eventually, his vision turned black. The doctor broke the news to him when he woke up in the hospital._

_“The test results came back positive. I am sorry but your son, unfortunately, has lung cancer...”_

“And now my cancer is gone, I had the tumor cut off, and I’m surviving with one and a quarter lungs and the annoying inability to breathe. End of story.” Oikawa grabs a fry and puts it between his lips like a cigarette before eating it. Somewhere along with the storytelling, a waiter delivered them their order. Now they’re sitting on opposite sides to each other munching down on their food.

Iwaizumi stares at him for a while before asking more questions. “What high school did you go to?”

“Karasuno. You?”

“Aoba Johsai.”

“Oh, that was my choice, too!“

“Did you used to smoke?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry. I was just curious.”

Oikawa sighs and shoves another fry in his mouth. This wasn’t the first time he was asked a question like that. People always tend to assume he was a smoker because he got lung cancer. “No, but my dad was. He quit smoking long before I was diagnosed, though. My mom always swore that in her soulmate dream he died because of those cig—“

“I am sorry, in her what?” Iwaizumi has confused written all over his face, and Oikawa looks at him like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Her soulmate dream. Do you not know?”

“No, I am not updated with the latest internet culture.”

“It’s not an internet thing, Iwa-chan. Look.” Oikawa grabs two fries and puts them up to demonstrate. “You are familiar with the soulmate myth, huh? That humans, originally, were one being with four arms, four legs, and one head made of two faces. That was before Zeus feared their power and decided to separate them, becoming the humans we know today. Zeus condemned humans to spend all of their lives in search of their other half; their soulmate.”

“You are too knowledgeable about Greek mythology, huh?”

“I took Greek mythology as an elective in college. Shush, let me continue. So, no one really knows how to find that soulmate. There isn’t some spell or a path to lead you to your soulmate, but here’s the thing! It is rumored that you can see a glimpse of how your soulmate exactly dies in your dreams. You can see it through their eyes. Some people swear it’s true!”

“And I presume the others, the sane ones, believe it’s all just bullshit?” Iwaizumi looks very unamused. He isn’t usually one to believe in myths and thinks of them as nothing but an elaborate lie.

Oikawa pouts and huffs out in annoyance. “Mock all you want but I believe it’s true. I’ve seen it happen before.”

“Oikawa, our minds are very complex. They could analyze the information we receive and make them into dreams. They could come true but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s fate or a soulmate thing.”

Oikawa whines and throws a fry at Iwaizumi who just chuckles at how annoyed Oikawa looks like a 5-year-old whose favorite toy broke. “You’re no fun when you use science. Be poetic with me!”

“Sorry to burst your bubble. Now eat.”

“Meanie Iwa-chan.” Oikawa sips on his orange juice, still managing to keep pouting. “Whatever it is that is true, I would like to meet my soulmate. I wonder what they’re like.”

‘Me too,’ Iwaizumi says to himself. He knew if he told Oikawa, he would never hear the end of it.

* * *

Iwaizumi opens his slowly and momentarily feels blinded by the immense light of the room. He was quite sure he turned off the lights before he slept. He feels strange suddenly like he’s been misplaced. The room feels strangely hot that he was having difficulty breathing. He feels around the bed and scrunches his face. ‘This isn’t my bed. Where am I?’ He thought to himself. He turns around to look to his left. Creamy white walls with baby blue curtains. He sees wall-length windows with a sliding door. Now he’s 100% sure this wasn’t his room. He can’t make out where he is because it’s too dark outside with nothing but far away lamp posts illuminating the outside. Suddenly, it begins to snow. The light gentle snow fell slowly as it does on the first day of snow, making the sight mesmerizing and beautiful.

‘Wait, it’s not winter. Am I dreaming?’ He goes to turn on his left side but feels a sharp unbearable pain in his chest. He finds it impossible to breathe like his lungs were filled with water. Is he drowning? Is someone suffocating him? What’s happening? He’s confused and terrified. Is he going to die?

He jolts awake and falls out of his bed, coughing loudly and painfully. His heart beats rapidly as he tries to steady his terrified breathing. A few minutes later, he calms down when he realizes he’s back in his room. He gets up and looks around for his phone. 5:05 am. He sighs and places his phone on the bedside again. ‘It was all a dream? But it felt so real.’ He stretches a bit and goes to get himself some water. His phone bings signaling he received a text. Who could be texting him at this time?

**Oikawa**

Are you up? I had a bad dream.

**Iwaizumi**

Yeah, I’m up. What happened?

**Oikawa**

I died in a car accident. I have never been terrified of cars but I felt so scared and upset.

I don’t know why I had that dream but it felt so real.

I’m sorry, did I wake you?

Iwaizumi’s breath catches in his lungs. Oikawa’s dream wasn’t weirder than his, but the fact that they simultaneously had weird dreams at the same time was making him feel skeptical. He opens up his calendar. November 20th. It’s almost winter.

_“You get a dream of how your soulmate dies.”_

He can hear Oikawa’s voice clearly in his head, and he panics. Could it be that soulmate dream? ‘No, this is bullshit. It’s not real.’ Isn’t it? Who was his soulmate then? Anyone could die of suffocation.

He opens up his browser and searches for ‘water in lungs’ and before he could hit search, a suggested search catches his eyes.

_Water in lungs lung cancer_

His face drops. Did he dream of how Oikawa will die? Is Oikawa... his soulmate? ‘No, it can’t be. He said he’s fine now. I’m just thinking about it too much. This isn’t real.’

He lets go of the breath he’s holding and runs a hand through his hair. November 20th. Winter is so close, and so is the first day of snow. His eyes begin to feel stingy. The thought of Oikawa possibly dying hurt him more than he let on. Was it because...

**Oikawa**

Did you fall asleep? Pfft, what a grandpa, Iwa-chan.

The text broke him out of his thoughts. Oikawa is still here with him, he’s cancer-free, and he won’t die. This soulmate dream isn’t real, and it won’t happen.

**Iwaizumi**

No, I’m still up, shittykawa.

**Oikawa**

Shittykawa? 😭 I am so heartbroken. I give you a sweet nickname and you give me this?

**Iwaizumi**

It serves you right.

**Oikawa**

Ouch. Why do you hate me so much, Iwa-chan?

**Iwaizumi**

Your existence annoys me. Drink some water and go back to bed. It’s too early.

**Oikawa**

I’d rather stay up and talk to you, Iwa-chan.

**Iwaizumi**

Okay. Then we stay up and talk.

Iwaizumi’s face is glued to his phone, despite his friends’ numerous attempts to tear him away from it. Hanamaki and Matsukawa look at their friend then at each other, both wondering the same thing.

“Who are you talking to?” Matsukawa starts. Hanamaki pokes Iwaizumi’s head which makes the latter glare at him. “Yeah. You haven’t even touched your food.”

“Oikawa just sent me another Greek myth thing and I’m not buying it.”

“Oikawa? As in Oikawa Tooru? Damn, did my hospital experience finally get you a boyfriend?” Hanamaki teases, making Iwaizumi hold up his knife in defense. “I will hurt you. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“You two are sharing lots of texts though.” Matsukawa tries to take a sneak peek at Iwaizumi’s phone but he gets pushed away.

“Stop snooping into my personal life! He’s not my boyfriend. We’re just friends!”

“Sure thing, Iwa-chan.” Hanamaki smiles slyly, knowing the meaning that the name holds. Iwaizumi just sends one last text to Oikawa and slips his phone back into his pocket. He holds his empty hands up in defeat and turns his attention to his food.

“Why was Oikawa in the hospital? An accident like this idiot here, too?” Matsukawa asks as he points at Hanamaki, who gasps at the sudden change of the teasing route.

“Hey! I told you I didn't notice the other car!”

“So, you swerve and crash into a building? Just admit you were careless, or stupid whichever truth you feel like admitting today.”

“No, he had lung cancer, so he goes for usual check-ups.” Iwaizumi interrupts their bickering. The two friends look at their third friend curiously. He wasn’t the type to take on what the people call ‘charity cases.’ He wouldn’t befriend anyone out of pity for their condition, so this must be sincere.

“Is he doing better?” Hanamaki asks and Matsukawa looks at him with a ‘are you stupid?’ look. “What? I’m just asking.”

“He says he’s doing fine. He’s staying at his parent’s house. Oh, actually, Hanamaki, did you leave anything at the hospital? Because I’m going to pick something up that Oikawa left there.”

Both Hanamaki and Matsukawa stare at him. ‘You’re so whipped,’ they both share the same thought, and Iwaizumi knew that.

“You know what? Screw you both.” He huffs and turns his attention to his drink. Oikawa told him he forgot his favorite volleyball at the hospital, and they should’ve kept it at the lost and found. He would’ve asked his older sister but she was out of town for the week. Oikawa didn’t actually ask him to get it for him but Iwaizumi just decided he’ll go. Maybe he is as whipped as his friends think he is.

After the friendly hangout with his two friends, Iwaizumi got the volleyball for Oikawa and is now following the GPS on his phone to Oikawa’s house. He had never been there since the three times that they met either his sister or his mom would pick him up. He expected something fancy because Oikawa looks like the rich kid type of guy. What he found eventually was a quite simple family home. It is slightly better than most of the homes in this area, but it still looked nothing of the fancy sort.

‘Huh, what do I know.’ He gets out of his car and walks up to the front door. He stands on the porch for five minutes after ringing the doorbell before he was greeted with a smiley Oikawa in his pajamas. “Hey, you are here!”

“Yeah, here you go.” Iwaizumi hands Oikawa the ball and turns around on his heels to leave when Oikawa yells behind him.

“Hey! You seriously aren’t just going to leave, right? Come on in. Have some tea!”

“Don’t wanna.” Iwaizumi doesn’t know why he was feeling grumpier than usual. Maybe what his friends said got to him too much.

“Iwa-chan, please! Don’t leave!”

Iwaizumi stops in his tracks. He looks behind him and sees Oikawa pouting sadly. He didn’t want to leave but he felt compelled to. He doesn’t want to prove his friends were right even though he knew they were. He couldn’t explain the connection he felt towards Oikawa, but it’s just there, and he can’t resist.

He sighs and walks back towards the front door to which Oikawa smiles happily. “Thank you! I’ll have you know; I make a great cup of tea.”

“This tea sucks.”

“Yeah, I think I boiled it too much.” Oikawa stares at his nearly empty cup. At first, he swore the tea leaves were just ‘expired’ and that his tea is always so great. Now he’s sort of admitting maybe he messed it up.

“Are you sure you make the best tea in your family?” Iwaizumi teases which makes Oikawa whine in defeat. “I don’t. Nee-chan actually makes it much better. We learned it from my dad. He loved tea so much, you can’t even imagine it.”

“Loved?” Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa puzzled. He places his empty cup on the coffee table in front of him to give his full attention to the brown-haired boy.

Oikawa smiles sadly as he places his elbow on his thigh, resting his cheek on his palm. “He died 2 years after we knew. The doctor said it was a sudden heart attack. Some people believe it was the exhaustion of me being sick. We’d never know, though.”

“I am sorry, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi says in a comforting tone. Oikawa smiles and pokes Iwaizumi’s nose gently. “Don’t sound so upset. It’s been years.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

Oikawa’s eyes widen momentarily then soften all in the same minute. Iwaizumi wishes he could read his mind. “I’m bored, and my mom doesn’t come back until tomorrow morning. Want to watch a movie?”

Iwaizumi wants to run. He said he’d only stay for tea. Every muscle in him tells him to leave but instead...

“What options do you have?”

Iwaizumi shifts slowly in his sleep, although he doesn’t remember when did he exactly fall asleep. All he remembers is Oikawa asking to watch a movie then he put on Aliens. ‘Did I fall asleep during the movie?’ He looks next to him and sees a sleepy Oikawa cuddled up to him. His head was resting on Iwaizumi’s shoulder and his entire body was covered with a blanket. Actually, now that he’s noticed it, he’s also covered with the same blanket. He can’t remember when he fell asleep but he’s sure they didn’t have a blanket during the movie. Did he fall asleep first and Oikawa covered him up instead of waking him?

‘God, this is so embarrassing.’ He thinks to himself and sighs. He looks over at Oikawa once more, admiring how adorable and peaceful Oikawa looked like in his sleep. He almost didn’t have the heart to move and wake him up. Unfortunately, he had to move when he heard movement in the kitchen. Oikawa surely told him his older sister was gone for the week and his mom was coming back home tomorrow, so who could this be?

He moves Oikawa’s head off his shoulder gently and places a pillow underneath Oikawa’s head before he gets up to investigate. He walks up to the kitchen and gets startled by a girl standing in front of the refrigerator. The girl notices his presence and panics for a moment, letting out a sigh later on. “Oh God, you scared me. I thought you were a burglar or something.”

Iwaizumi stares at her confused for a moment. She looks like Oikawa, but older and more... feminine? Was she his older sister? “I see little Tooru passed out early, huh? He watched Aliens a million times. It’s no surprise he slept.”

She is Oikawa’s older sister. Iwaizumi would greet her but, to be honest, he doesn’t even know her name since Oikawa only calls her nee-chan. He should say something now because he has been standing still and staring at her like a creeper. “It’s very nice to meet you. I... Uhm. I’m sorry for, you know, falling asleep. I did promise Oikawa to leave after watching the movie.”

“Oh, no, no! It’s fine! I wanted to meet Tooru’s mysterious new friend, anyway. He hasn’t shut up about you. You two looked cold thought so I threw in the blanket on you.”

Ah, so it was her and not Oikawa.

“I know you probably want to leave and get going with your life, but thank you for taking the time to entertain my baby brother. He could be difficult, but he’s good. He isn’t detached from his friends but you seem a bit more special.”

“Special?”

“He just talks about you... differently. It’s part of why I was excited to meet you. I’m Takara by the way. Please don’t make this the last visit. Come back again soon, and have lunch with all of us.”

Iwaizumi nods in agreement. He promises to make plans with Oikawa for when he visits next. He says goodbye to the older sister and goes back to the living room. Oikawa is still fast asleep on the couch and unaware that Iwaizumi moved at all. The small couch seemed rather uncomfortable to Iwaizumi because Oikawa had to curl up to be able to fit in it.

‘I shouldn’t do this but here goes nothing.’

He walks up slowly to Oikawa and tucks the blanket securely over him. He grabs his oxygen tank in one arm and places the other beneath him. Careful not to wake him up, Iwaizumi carries Oikawa gently in between his two arms. He sees Oikawa’s sister walking out to the living room just as he turns to carry him upstairs. Watching the scene in front of her, she just smiles and mouths, “Second room on the left.”

Iwaizumi mouths a ‘thank you’ and goes upstairs to Oikawa’s room. Thankfully, the door was open so he walks in and slowly places Oikawa on his bed. He adjusts the blanket once more and takes one final glance at him. A smile made its way to his lips as he looked at Oikawa. When Iwaizumi is with him, he understands nothing of his feelings. All he knows is that he would like to be around Oikawa for as long as he can. He runs his fingers softly through Oikawa’s hair to brush it off his eyes and whispers,

_“Goodnight, prettykawa.”_

* * *

_“Nice serve!”_

Iwaizumi holds onto his gym bag and looks at his team players. Even after practice was finished, these two were having a private session on their own. “Oi! Miya and Sakusa! The practice is over. Go home!”

The pair look at him at the same time. Miya Atsumu, the setter of the MSBY Black Jackals, smiles at Iwaizumi his usual sly smile and waves. “Just one more, captain!”

“No, he’s right. We should get going,” Sakusa Kiyoomi, the wing spiker, grabs his phone off the bench and checks the time. “It’s getting late. Besides, it’s already snowing outside.”

_Wait... What?_ “Sakusa, did you say it’s snowing?”

“Uh, yeah. Today is the first day of snow. Isn’t it exciting? You can really feel that it’s winter now.”

Iwaizumi feels as if his heart cracked wide open. He couldn’t think, and he couldn’t even breathe. He holds onto his bag and sprints out of the gym as fast as he could, ignoring the calls of Miya and Sakusa behind him.

“Hey! Iwaizumi-san! Hold on! What happened?!”

“Hey, you have reached the number of Oikawa Tooru. I don’t have my phone on me right now, obviously, so leave a message after the beep.”

Iwaizumi gripped his phone tightly in his hands as he ran. He crossed every single road as fast as he could. He cursed himself for not taking his car today as he would’ve reached the hospital a lot faster if he did. Usually, Oikawa doesn’t answer his phone unless it’s 12 am and he’s already asleep or he’s having lunch, but since this wasn’t the time for either of those options, it was weird of him not to answer his phone.

He was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t notice he ran through a green light until he suddenly saw a car appearing before him, and he dodged it before he collided in the front of it.

“Are you _insane_?!”

“I am so- I am so sorry! I am so sorry!”

He continued on his way with more speed than he started having just escaped a near-death experience gave him a little boost. He couldn’t forget that dream no matter how hard he tried. The unbearable image of Oikawa dying was burned into his mind. It kept appearing in front of his eyes at the most random moment whenever he was with Oikawa. He wanted to run away, run away from him and that nightmare, but he couldn’t. No matter what he did, no matter what his logic tells him, some sort of invisible rope kept pulling him towards Oikawa over and over again. He finally decides not to run away. Instead, he’ll run for Oikawa with his arms wide open, embracing their shared connection.

_“You’re not dying on me today!”_

He barged into the hospital and ran towards the elevator. He didn’t bother to ask which room he’d be in because Oikawa had once joked about how they keep room 505 available for him because of how many times he’s been submitted in this hospital ever since he got diagnosed.

Once he reached the fifth floor, he dashed through the hallway, yelling a few ‘I’m sorry!’ and ‘excuse me!’ along the way. Now he stands in front of room 505 completely out of breath and wearing the most horrified expression a person could have.

Oikawa, who was lying down on the hospital bed, and his sister, who was sitting at the edge of the bed, stare at Iwaizumi, confused and somehow amused. “You look like shit, Iwa-chan. Wait- How did you know I was here?”

Iwaizumi leans on the doorframe and lets out the breath he was holding in. His chest is rising and falling rapidly as he tries to steady his hurried breathing. “Alright. I’ll go buy something from the vending machine. Do you want something? No? Fantastic.” Takara gets up and walks out of the room. Before she leaves, she nudges Iwaizumi inside and closes the door behind her.

Iwaizumi sits down on the chair that has been placed next to the bed and looks at Oikawa who was still waiting for an answer. He puts his head in his hands and lets out a sigh. He looks over at Oikawa and smiles, "I was so worried about you that I am now realizing I almost got run over by a car on my way here. I thought you were... God, I am an idiot." Oikawa's eyes widen but quickly hides it when Iwaizumi looks over at him.

"I am sorry I worried you, Iwa-chan."

"Why are you sorry, stupid? I am the one who should be sorry for barging in like this. I just..."

Oikawa smiles softly and places his hand over Iwaizumi's. "If I would be causing you any trouble or distress, Iwa- chan, you can leave—"

" _Don't._ Don't finish that sentence."

Oikawa's eyes soften. He knew that behind the bold and sometimes cruel Iwaizumi who would constantly call him shittykawa and pretend he couldn't care less about him was a heartwarmingly caring Iwaizumi with a heart that could be weighed in gold. 'I don't deserve this,' he thinks. 'I don't deserve you.'

"Whatever you are thinking, please don't. The last thing I want is for you to worry about me. From now on, your main concern should be you and your health, got it?" Iwaizumi's hand was now on top of Oikawa's, gently squeezing his hand in reassurance. "Because by the end of the day, as long as I know you're okay, I'll be okay, too. I promise. Just... Maybe just give me a heads-up when you're going to be away from your phone, okay?"

Oikawa chuckles and pokes Iwaizumi's forehead. He points to the jacket that was placed neatly over the small couch behind Iwaizumi. "My phone is there. I always have it on silent when I am in here, so it doesn't bother the other patients while I'm having my check-up. So next time I'm here, I'll tell you beforehand, sounds good, mom?" Iwaizumi glares at Oikawa and reaches out to ruffle his hair to which Oikawa lets out a screech and pushes Iwaizumi's hand away. With no hope of winning over Iwaizumi's muscular-self, Oikawa eventually gives up and lets him ruin his hair while he whines about how mean Iwa-chan is.

"Sounds good, shittykawa."

As the two men go on with their conversation, Iwaizumi gets up to grab Oikawa’s phone from his jacket. He turns around and stops for a moment to adjust to what he had just seen. Creamy white walls and baby blue curtains. Wall-length window with a sliding door. He quickly fetches Oikawa’s phone and gives it to him then they continue talking. Throughout their conversation, all Iwaizumi could think about was one thing:

_’Isn’t that the room from my dream?’_

* * *

It has been a year since Iwaizumi decided to embrace his connection to Oikawa when he failed to deny it. The pair had spent almost the entirety of this year together every single day. They hung out whenever they could find the chance either with Iwaizumi's friends or Oikawa's family, but most of the time they usually went out alone. For the past year, Iwaizumi tried his best to make Oikawa's every wish or whim come true to the point where he agreed to go on a karaoke night. Oikawa and Matsukawa forced Hanamaki and Iwaizumi to sing a romantic duet, which went terribly wrong as they forgot the lyrics mid-song, and they have the videos to prove it if they ever tried to deny it happened.

Over the course of that year, Oikawa had hospital visits now and then but none of these visits troubled Iwaizumi because the first day of snow already passed. The one thing they never managed to get around doing in the past year was to play volleyball like they first intended. That's why Iwaizumi invited Oikawa to watch his team's practice today.

"Nice receive!" Oikawa's loud commentary has sort of served as a way of cheering up the team. Iwaizumi kept sneaking a couple of glances along Oikawa's way, just admiring him and his love for volleyball. Oikawa brought his glasses so he could see better but Iwaizumi had him sit along with the coaches on the benches near the net. He kept it on for dramatic effect. 

10 minutes later, the practice was over but Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and some of the team members stayed behind for a little two-on-two game. "I still can't believe you're here, Oikawa-san. _And_ that you know Iwaizumi-san. How did this happen?" Hinata asks as he walks with Oikawa towards the net. On Oikawa's side of the net were Iwaizumi and Hinata, while on the other side were Atsumu, Sakusa, and Bokuto.

Oikawa is going to watch and cheer from the sidelines, while Sakusa decided to be the judge. "I annoyed his best-friend who had been in the same hospital as me recuperating from an accident, he called me a brat for being annoying, and now we're close friends."

"That's a good way to put it." Iwaizumi teases making Oikawa stick his tongue out at him. 

"Don't worry, Iwaizumi-san. All his friendships start similarly like this."

"Hey!"

"Oi, are you guys gonna play or are you gonna chit-chat?" Bokuto yells teasingly, earning a glare from Iwaizumi. Every team member knows it's best not to receive a glare from Iwaizumi, but both Bokuto and Atsumu like to test his patience most of the time. "Oh no, I'm in danger."

"Ha, that you are!" Atsumu laughs.

"And an idiot, as well. Shall we start, boys?" Sakusa adds in. He's holding the ball in his hand then gives it to Atsumu before heading to stand on the sidelines with Oikawa. Oikawa gives Iwaizumi an encouraging thumbs-up before Sakusa announces the game start. 

The game ends with Hinata and Iwaizumi winning which means that Atsumu and Bokuto will be the ones paying for dinner tonight. "Ah, man! I was so sure we'd win!" Atsumu whines as he walks over to Sakusa, resting his head on his shoulder. "I hope you've prepared your pocket. I am feeling like having a fancy dinner right now." Sakusa chuckles when Atsumu's whines grow more. He pushes Atsumu away and walks with him to the changing room, or more like dragging him all the way there.

Oikawa high-fives Hinata happily and both proceed to mock Bokuto who was being comforted by Iwaizumi. "There, there. Wasn't it better if we chit-chatted instead, Bokuto?" Iwaizumi sticks his tongue out at Bokuto, earning a sigh from the grumpy black-and-grey-haired man. "Shut it, captain," Bokuto complains but before Iwaizumi could push him further, the gym door opens signaling the arrival of Bokuto's rescue. 

"Koutarou, I'm here." 

"Keiji!" Bokuto's mood shifts quickly when the black-haired man walks towards the group. He immediately pushes past Iwaizumi and throws himself into the arms of that man. Oikawa looks at the pair with curiosity.

"What took you so long?"

"Sorry. Got held up at the office. Is your practice over?"

"Yeah, I got my ass handed to me by Iwaizumi and Hinata, and now I have to pay for dinner."

"Oh," A smile is drawn across the man's lips, "Guess you're gonna pay for mine, too, right?" Bokuto grumbles in annoyance. He takes a glance back at the three men standing behind him then remembers. "I'm sorry, I forgot. Keiji, this is Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi's friend. Oikawa, this is Akaashi Keiji, my lovely but annoying fiancé."

"Nice to meet you, Oikawa."

"Oh... Likewise."

As Oikawa and Akaashi shake hands, the former couldn't help but switch glances between him and Iwaizumi. "You two look weirdly alike. It's like you're twins."

"Right! I kept saying that all along!" Hinata joins along excitedly. "Maybe they were separated at birth?"

"But Akaashi took the pretty genes, obviously."

"You are so biased, Koutarou."

"I am just being honest!"

"Okay," Iwaizumi claps his hands together to grab their attention, "Enough theorizing about me and Akaashi. Let's go change before we're late for dinner." 

Bokuto sighs and walks to the changing room along with Hinata while they discuss their theory about Iwaizumi and Akaashi being twins. Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa who's smiling widely at the short-haired one. "Aren't you gonna go change, too? I don't like going out with sweaty people."

Iwaizumi doesn't respond for a second before he reaches out and pinches Oikawa's cheek. "Be nice or I'll send you home, kid."

"Ow, alright, alright! I got it!" Oikawa slaps Iwaizumi's hand away and pouts. The sight in front of him made Iwaizumi smile profoundly. Oikawa quickly regains his posture and smiles confidently, "Don't take too much time, Iwa—" He stops abruptly and starts coughing. He puts a hand over his chest and breathes in and out heavily. Both Iwaizumi and Akaashi are alarmed, and Iwaizumi quickly reaches out for Oikawa. 

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?!" Iwaizumi asks while trying to help Oikawa, who was now crouching and holding his chest in pain, stand on his feet back again. Before Oikawa could regain his posture, blood began irrupting out of his mouth. Akaashi quickly gets his phone out to call the ambulance as the rest of the boys run hurriedly back to the room.

Oikawa holds onto Iwaizumi's arm for dear life as he coughs his heart out. He looks up briefly and sees Iwaizumi yelling something but he couldn't hear him. The entire world around him felt blurry as his senses all go numb. The last thing he felt was himself falling into Iwaizumi's arms while the world goes completely black.

* * *

Eyes flutter open slowly. Oikawa stares at the ceiling of the dim-lit room for a few moments trying to recall what happened earlier. All he could remember was blood and the inability to breathe before he blacked out. 'Oh, I passed out,' He looks down at his hands and saw a few tubes filled with liquids going through his body. This wasn't an unusual sight for Oikawa, in fact, he had been used to this for almost all his life, but when he looked to his left half-expecting his mother or his sister to be sitting there, he saw Iwaizumi sitting there next to him with a blanket hanging over his shoulders.

He remembers the expression Iwaizumi had on his face before Oikawa fainted, and he had never seen him so _terrified._ Now he looks peaceful while he sleeps. His eyes are closed completely and his head is resting over his shoulder. Oikawa shifts a little to reach out for Iwaizumi's hand, but the latter suddenly jolts awake before he ever could.

"H-Hey..." Oikawa manages to say even though his throat felt like it was on fire.

"Hey."

“Wh… Where a-am I?”

“Room 505. You really weren’t kidding when you said this was your room, huh?” Iwaizumi’s face shifts into a soft smile before a yawn breaks through his lips. He stretches his arm up a little then rubs his eyes to knock off the sleep still lingering in them.

"Sorry, I... woke you..." His voice is barely heard but he fights his way through the immense pain to get the words out.

"It's fine. Don't talk, please. Your throat is infected, you should rest up." Iwaizumi places his hand over Oikawa's forehead, stroking his face gently. "Just nudge me if you need anything, alright?"

Oikawa doesn't fight it and just nods. He peeks a look outside, expecting it to be night-time but is shocked by the snow. It wasn't snowing before he fainted. Iwaizumi stares at him puzzled then follows his line of sight and realizes what his eyes are fixed on. "It started snowing a few hours ago while you were asleep. You didn't miss much, though. Don't worry." Iwaizumi smiles comfortingly at him. 

The two men stare at each other for a few moments in complete silence. Oikawa leans his head towards Iwaizumi's hand, feeling comforted by his light and gentle touch. Iwaizumi doesn't move his hand away and instead keeps stroking Oikawa's face as he speaks. "Are you feeling okay? Move your head yes or no."

Oikawa shakes his head no, making Iwaizumi sigh. "I'm sorry. That's a stupid question considering what happened." Oikawa just stares at the man sitting before him, his eyes softening due to his touch. His head feels lighter due to the sedative injected into his body through the tube but all he could focus on was Iwaizumi's hand, and the feelings bubbling inside of him. He knows he shouldn't speak, and he doesn't know if he even could. "Ha..."

"Oikawa, please don't talk. You'll hurt yourself." 

"Ha... Hajime..." Iwaizumi is silent for a moment. This is the first time Oikawa ever called him by his first name. Hearing his name falling off Oikawa's lips was something he never knew he'd want to hear all the time. "I am... scared..."

His heart is racing at the sight of him. Tears are falling over Oikawa's cheeks, and quiet sniffles and whimpers are coming out of his lips. He has rarely seen Oikawa so broken. Iwaizumi wipes away Oikawa's tears with his thumb gently to comfort him, to say 'it's okay. I'm here.' "Why are you scared?"

"I... I don't... want to... go..." His words are barely heard but they slice through Iwaizumi's heart like a sharp blade. Oikawa, for the most part, never seemed fazed by the idea of dying. To Iwaizumi, it always seemed like the brunet accepted his fate long before they met. It has always felt as if Iwaizumi was the only one who couldn't accept that fate, the only one who'd panic when Oikawa lets out even a single cough. It's normal seeing as Iwaizumi has known Oikawa for almost two years, but Oikawa has had to live through this ever since he was a teenager. What's breaking his heart is hearing Oikawa pleading for his life with nothing in his power to do to help.

"You're not going anywhere. I promise."

Iwaizumi knew he's making an empty promise. He couldn't do anything against the heavens' will. If Oikawa's time comes, he'd have to let go, but he doesn't want to. ' _I'll never leave you_ ,' he wanted to say. ' _In life or even in death, I'll find you and I'll stay with you for eternity._ ' He couldn't let those words out as he knew it would just hurt Oikawa, so he kept this promise to himself.

"Hajime..." Oikawa's weak voice breaks him out of his thoughts. Iwaizumi looks up to see a wide smile drawn on his face. "Being with you... is like the breath of fresh air... I've always yearned for..." Iwaizumi's eyes widen in surprise, not expecting the words that came out of the sick boy's lips. "So... Don't leave me now... because I want to... have that breath... until my heart stops beating... Please..." Iwaizumi's eyes soften. Tears were threatening to come out of his eyes at this very moment, but he couldn't cry now. He felt the need to be strong for Oikawa who needed his strength.

He ignored the thoughts of Oikawa's heart ever stopping as he leans in and places his forehead over Oikawa's. He smiles softly as he holds Oikawa's cheek, caressing it with his thumb gently, and with all the power he could muster, he whispers,

_"I'm not leaving you, Tooru. I'm here to stay as long as you want me to."_

* * *

The smell of flowers and sugar fills the air. The sound of a bottle of champagne popping followed by roaring applause. The two grooms share a quick kiss before turning their attention back to the guests. Among the guests stood Oikawa and Iwaizumi together, happily clapping for the newlyweds and laughing at Bokuto's failed attempt to smear Akaashi's face with the wedding cake because he dodged it. Instead, Akaashi is the one who ends up smearing Bokuto's face with a small piece of the icing. Bokuto groans in defeat but still leans in to press a tender kiss to Akaashi's cheek. The couple step down the mini-stage where the cake was to greet the guests at the reception. Oikawa turns to Iwaizumi and leans in to whisper in his ear, "Hey, Iwa-chan, let's go steal the cake."

"We didn't come to be wedding crashers, shittykawa."

"Ouch, not the shittykawa _again!_ " Oikawa whines and pouts his lips like a sad puppy in hopes to gain sympathy from Iwaizumi. "We're at a lovely wedding. Be nice to me."

Iwaizumi chuckles and pokes Oikawa's pouted lips. Oikawa gasps and slaps his hand away. "Hey! Hands off, mister!" The pair laugh as they purposely annoy each other with all they could think of like poking, messing up each other's clothes and hair, etc. Iwaizumi comes out as the winner when he gently pinned Oikawa's head down a little and ruffled his hair, making Oikawa yield in defeat.

"You're such an ass, Iwa-chan." The brown-haired boy murmurs as he fixes his hair using the front camera of his phone. Iwaizumi places his elbow on the table and rests his head in his hand while he looks at Oikawa. He recalls the day he asked Oikawa to come to the wedding with him.

_"Hey, shittykawa."_

_"What is it, meanie-chan?"_

_"Come to Bokuto and Akaashi's wedding with me."_

_He blurted out the word so easily that Oikawa had to sit up and make sure he heard him correctly. They had been sitting in Oikawa's room for the past half hour because Oikawa forced Iwaizumi to read at least one of his books on Greek mythology after they had lunch with Oikawa's family._

_"Me? Your wedding date? Are you sure? You don't have anyone else to go with?"_

_Iwaizumi shrugged and put the book he was holding down. He sat up on the bed and stared into Oikawa's eyes. "I wouldn't want to go with anyone else but you."_

Coming to think of it now, he cringes at how weird he sounded back then, but Oikawa didn't seem to mind it which made him feel at ease with how awkwardly his request sounded. "Is it fixed?" His attention is back on Oikawa. He nods and gives Oikawa a thumbs up to assure him that his hair is fixed. "You so owe me a dance for messing up my hair, Iwa-chan."

"Sure thing, princess." He glances around the room and sees most of their friends around the bar area. "Let's go get drinks first." Before Oikawa could protest, Iwaizumi grabs his hand and drags him along with him to the bar. They're greeted by their circle of friends and a couple of people they've met today at the wedding. They walk over to Matsukawa and Hanamaki who were talking away from the crowd.

"Mattsun! Makki! You guys were invited, too?" Oikawa gasps and tries to steal the cups in their hands but Hanamaki slaps his hand away before he could. "Ah-uh, these have alcohol in them. Have a glass of juice, kiddo." Oikawa pouts sadly and pulls on Iwaizumi's jacket. He looks at him with eyes that say, 'Tell them to let me have a sip,' but Iwaizumi could not be persuaded. 

"No alcohol. I'll get you something else. Guys, watch over him." 

"Yes, sir!" Matsukawa and Hanamaki say simultaneously. Oikawa crosses his arms over his chest like a child who had just been denied his favorite candy. "Who does he think himself is, my mother?" He huffs out in annoyance.

"He might as well be." Matsukawa chuckles as he takes another sip of his drink. "Fun wedding."

"Yeah, a totally different scenery than what you're used to at work, huh?" Hanamaki teases, making Matsukawa roll his eyes. "Oh yeah, how is it at the funeral home, Mattsun?" Oikawa joins in on the teasing, earning an equally deadly glare from Matsukawa as the one Hanamaki received. 

"I'll have you guys know; at least I have a job. So, you two can suck it."

"Ouch! Such vulgar language, Matsukawa." 

The trio laughs all together and carries on the conversation about random topics. Oikawa glances at his right to where Iwaizumi is and sees him engaged in a conversation with someone he didn't know. He recognizes the face as he had seen him at the wedding earlier but he can't remember the name. The black-haired guy laughs and pushes Iwaizumi in a friendly way. Next to the guy stood a much shorter guy with long brown hair and blond ends. The shorter guy says something to the black-haired guy which makes the latter exclaim, "Kenma! You told me you liked the way I used to style my hair!"

"Well, I obviously lied. You looked ridiculous, Tetsurou. Having your hair down suits you more." Kenma replies in his usual monotone voice but with a genuine smile on his lips. 

"I second that." Iwaizumi agrees.

Kuroo groans and moves his fingers through his hair. "Well, I am never using gel again. Thanks, guys."

"You're welcome. Any sort of gel is bad for your hair, anyway." Iwaizumi laughs along with the other two boys. From afar, Oikawa kept staring at Iwaizumi. He wanted to go over there and whisk him away or ask him to dance. He wanted to spend every moment with him. He couldn't admit it out loud or even to himself most of the time. A voice cuts his thoughts before he's swept away into them even further.

"Hey, hey, hey, buddy! What are you doing here all alone?" Bokuto places a hand over Oikawa's shoulders. Oikawa blinks at him puzzled. 'I am not alone,' he thought as he searches for Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who were nowhere to be found.

"Oh. I guess I didn't notice them leaving." Oikawa shrugs and tears his attention away from Iwaizumi to properly look at Bokuto. "I love the wedding. It's beautiful."

"Ah, thanks! I did my best to give Akaashi the wedding of his dreams. It didn't come out how I imagined it, but I'm glad you think it's beautiful."

"You really love Akaashi, huh?" Oikawa realizes what he has said as soon as he let the question out. He puts his hand over his face in embarrassment while Bokuto laughs. "I am so sorry. I am asking a groom if he really loves his husband on their wedding day. God, I'm an idiot."

"Nah, it's alright. I was so ready to gush about Akaashi anyway! He really is... my soulmate." Bokuto stares at Akaashi, who was standing across the room from them with his family. Oikawa glances between Bokuto and Akaashi for a moment before asking, "How did you know he's your soulmate?"

"Ah," Bokuto focuses back on Oikawa and scratches the back of his head awkwardly. "You're gonna laugh at me if I told you."

"Try me."

"Well... Have you heard of the soulmate dreams?"

Oikawa gasps in surprise and exclaims happily, "Yes! You believe in them, too?"

"Well, I didn't before." Oikawa's disappointment drawn on his face is as clear as day. "But after meeting Akaashi, I had a weird dream. I was in a hospital bed, and next to me was a grey and wrinkly Akaashi. He smiled at me and held my hand so tightly I felt like my bones would snap. He had tears in his eyes. He said something I couldn't hear then I felt as if my heart stopped. I woke up covered in sweat, and that's kind of when I knew Akaashi is my soulmate."

"That sounds sweet but... Couldn't it have been your emotions displaying themselves in the way you wanted them to?" Oikawa mentally scolds himself for this logical question. Iwaizumi rubbed off his logic on him way too much.

"I thought so, too! But Akaashi later told me he had a dream at the same time, and all he could remember was looking at a picture of our wedding before he closed his eyes then he woke up. That's how I knew it was real! I mean, it still could be all fiction, but what's the harm in believing it? Slightly believing that the world let Akaashi be my soulmate feels like a precious gift from the universe that I'll eternally be grateful for."

Oikawa smiles at the warmth radiating from Bokuto as he talks about Akaashi, secretly wishing he had a soulmate to talk about like that. Knowing his rotten luck, he'd probably never meet that soulmate. His mind wanders off to the time he had a dream that he died one time. He never had that dream again, and now he's starting to believe it was his soulmate dream.

Unfortunately, there weren't any signs of who that soulmate is. Maybe it was someone completely random who already died before Oikawa could ever meet them. Maybe he'd never meet them. Maybe he'd actually kick the bucket before he could ever meet them.

Through the mess that was his thoughts, one thought presented itself forward and provided comfort for Oikawa. He remembered how Iwaizumi was there to comfort him when he had that dream, and he was there for him every single step of the way since they've met. _'It's okay if I don't meet my soulmate because I have Hajime with me,'_ he thought.

"Heyyyy, where did you wander off to? Did I bore you?"

"Huh?" Oikawa is snapped back to reality by Bokuto once again. "No, I'm sorry. You just got me thinking."

"About what? Ooh, did you have your soulmate dream?" Bokuto squeezes Oikawa's shoulder a bit teasingly. Oikawa chuckles nervously and brushes his bangs off his eyes a little.

"Well, I think I did. I had this weird dream one time that I died in a car accident, but that's it. I didn't see a face or anything. I am not even sure if it's my soulmate dream. Maybe it was just a weird dream? I don't even know if someone had a weird dream the same time as me."

"Huh? You mean he didn't—"

"Here's your drink, shittykawa." Iwaizumi interrupts the conversation as he hands Oikawa the fancy glass of apple juice that he got him. "Drink up. Sorry, I'm late, I haven't seen Kuroo or Kozume since high school." 

"Ah, it's alright. Thank you." Oikawa takes the cup from Iwaizumi's hand then turns his attention back to Bokuto. "I'm sorry, what did you say? I didn't catch up on that."

Bokuto glances between Iwaizumi and Oikawa who stood side by side and awkwardly chuckles. "Oh, never mind. I didn't really say anything."

"Ah," Oikawa says before Hinata and Kageyama interrupt to steal him away, saying something about reliving a memory where Kageyama slips and falls on his ass. Bokuto is now left with Iwaizumi. Bokuto watches as Iwaizumi stares at Oikawa. His eyes saying more than his lips ever could.

"You didn't tell him, did you?"

Iwaizumi looks at Bokuto puzzled. "About the tournament? I said I’ll invite him, of course."

"I didn't mean that. Why didn't you tell him that you two are soulmates?"

"To be fair, I still don't believe in the soulmate dream bullshit. It doesn’t make sense."

"Bullshit or no, why didn't you tell him?"

“Come on, Bokuto, why do I have to tell him? His cancer is gone. He’s doing better than ever. It could be anybody else. Perhaps, someone, I’ll never even meet.”

“Cut the crap, Iwaizumi. Even if it’s not real, you still can’t deny how you feel about him.”

Iwaizumi feels cornered. No matter what smart reply he comes up with, he knows Bokuto won't let it slip by until he knows the truth. He sighs and stares down at his feet. " _If_ it is him, how could I ever tell him? I'd be loving him and losing him all in the same breath. I want to tell him and spend every moment we are given have happily together, but at the same time, I never want to tell him because when the time comes, it'd be easier to let go if we never had something to hold onto—”

“—Being with him brings me both joy and pain. Every time he gets so much as a paper cut, my heart dies a little. Every winter, I am terrified it could be that winter; the winter I'd lose him for good. On the other hand, every time he smiles, I could feel the sun shining down on me. I want to see him smile all the time, and I want to be the reason for his every smile. How could I tell him that I'm in love with him but the thought of losing him is killing me? I'd just be bringing him along in my own messy complicated feelings, and he doesn't need that. He's in enough pain as it is."

Bokuto places a hand over his friend's shoulder, silently apologizing for striking an obviously painful subject. Iwaizumi smiles, but even from afar, you could tell it wasn't a happy smile. "I wish we had it like you and Akaashi. I would have loved to grow old with him, but I guess this is the universe's ultimate sick joke on me."

"Doesn't need to be. No matter how much time you have, it’ll always feel too short. You’ll always want more even if you get a lifetime. You should cherish and embrace the time you have with him as it is not by its length. And death is inevitable, but it doesn't have to end your love permanently. All it can do is delay it for a while."

“It still terrifies me. Besides, I don’t even know if he feels the same way about me. Maybe we’re not soulmates. Maybe he doesn’t like me to even love me. So, just drop it.”

Iwaizumi looks up at Bokuto as the latter squeezes his shoulder a little to comfort him. A warm smile makes its way on Iwaizumi's lips as he mouths 'thank you.' Before Bokuto could reply, the three friends who left earlier came rushing back to the spot where the two stood.

"Okay, Iwa-chan, how _dare you_ not tell me about the tournament this winter in Tokyo?!" Oikawa seems a bit out of breath, but Iwaizumi doesn't overreact as it's a natural reaction because he knew Oikawa ran all the way back here. He makes a mental note to scold him for running later.

"Oh, Bokuto-san, Akaashi-san is looking for you." Hinata points to the dance floor where Akaashi was dancing with his mother. "That's my cue, gentlemen. Talk later!" Bokuto waves goodbye as he makes his way towards the dance floor. Iwaizumi's attention is now fixed on Oikawa, who had his hand on his hip and his lips pouted. Iwaizumi almost laughs at the sight of him but he holds it in.

"I was going to tell you."

" _When?_ "

"Not today, obviously."

"Why? You didn't want me to come with you?"

Iwaizumi could feel the hidden hurt in Oikawa's voice. He can't figure what he's thinking from his face, but he knows it can't be good. "I didn't say that. I just wanted to tell you after the wedding, that's all. Besides, we're still in August, and the tournament is in January. It's not a big deal."

Oikawa huffs out in annoyance and turns away from Iwaizumi with his arms folded across his chest. "Whatever."

Iwaizumi sighs and glares at the 25-year-old child standing in front of him. A new song suddenly starts playing which catches his attention. Iwaizumi looks at the dance floor and sees Bokuto and Akaashi dancing with a few people gathered around them. Iwaizumi grabs Oikawa's shoulder and walks him to the dance floor. "Come on. We're dancing."

"Who says I want to dance with you?!"

"You. You said I owe you a dance, so shut up and dance with me, shittykawa."

"Ugh, how are you so romantic? Must be popular with the ladies." 

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes at Oikawa and spins him around gently, making Oikawa laugh at the sudden gesture. They start the dance slow but then gradually pick up the pace to match with the song. All that was exchanged between the two at that moment was nothing but laughs and smiles. The pair focused on nothing else but the sound of their laughter mixed with the loud heartbeats as they danced through the entire song.

They danced to a couple more songs before they got tired and sat back at their table. Iwaizumi fished his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. It's past midnight now. 'Oikawa must be tired,' he thought, and as if on cue, Oikawa rests his head over Iwaizumi's shoulder. 

"Hajime," Iwaizumi feels his heart jump. He is often used to Oikawa calling him Iwa-chan to annoy him, but the very few times he uses his first name, Iwaizumi could feel his heart pounding, threatening to rip through his chest. He looks over at the sleepy brunet and pokes his cheek. "I don't want to go home right now."

A strange request but Iwaizumi was used to Oikawa's moods at this point. "Alright. Where do you wanna go?"

"The beach."

"In our suits?"

Oikawa hums and nods slightly. Throughout the entire conversation, he doesn't open his eyes, so he can't see Iwaizumi rolling his eyes at him. "If my suit gets filled with sand, I'll kill you."

"To be killed by you won't be so bad, Iwa-chan."

"Shut up, shittykawa."

The pair arrive at the beach around 4:30 AM. Since it's summer, the weather normally is hot and unbearable, but here, there is a nice and slightly cold breeze brushing over their faces. Oikawa stands facing the ocean with his eyes closed, and Iwaizumi stands next to him silently admiring the view. It was a full moon that night. The moon was shining and reflecting on the gentle waves, breaking through the darkness and casting a dim-light over the beach. For a few minutes, there was nothing but the sound of the waves crashing into the shore. The aura around the two of them was soothing and calming. It is making them feel like the weight of the world that has been forced upon their shoulders is gradually fading.

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi breaks the silence first. Oikawa opens his eyes as he turns to his side to look at him. For a moment, Iwaizumi forgets what he wanted to say. The way Oikawa shone along with the moon and the stars that night stole his breath away. "Did you... like the wedding?"

Oikawa's anxiously-waiting expression breaks into a smile then he stares at the beach once again. "Why do you sound so serious? I thought you were going to say something else."

"Ah. Sorry." Iwaizumi fiddles with his fingers awkwardly. He didn't know what to say, but the silence was unbearable to keep. "Well?"

"Mhm?"

"Did you like it?"

"Yes, I enjoyed it very much. It was very beautiful," Oikawa's full attention has now shifted onto Iwaizumi. He smiles warmly as he takes a step closer towards Iwaizumi. "Thank you for taking me with you."

"Thank you for agreeing to come with me."

Silence starts filling up the space between them again momentarily until Oikawa breaks it this time.

"You know, I'd like a wedding like that someday; a wedding that’s so _heavenly_ that it feels like a dream." Iwaizumi tilts his head to the side, gesturing for Oikawa to go on with his now-attentive eyes. "I'd like a beach wedding, and have the reception by the beach as well. Maybe in spring or summer so the wind wouldn't blow away... everything, I guess?" He chuckles lightly. He wasn't paying enough attention to see Iwaizumi's soft eyes admiring him as he laughed. "I'd like the most beautiful flowers to ever exist to decorate the place. I hoped my dad would be there since he always wanted me to get married, but I guess that won't happen... My mom would be there, and my sister, and Takeru, and..."

Oikawa smiles and pokes Iwaizumi's nose annoyingly. "Will you be there, too, Hajime?"

Iwaizumi puts a hand to his chin and pretends to think. "Hm, will I endure your insufferable, annoying, and bratty self long enough to attend your wedding? I'll think about it, Tooru." He pokes Oikawa's nose back, and to his surprise, Oikawa doesn't glare or whine; instead, he just smiles softly.

"You know, I like it when you call me Tooru."

"I like it when you call me Hajime."

"Oh? I thought you liked Iwa-chan more."

"From now on, if you call me Iwa-chan, I'll call you shittykawa."

"Iwa-chan is a sweet nickname! That's so unfair!"

"Tell that to Themis, kiddo."

"I see you've picked up a few of my interests, Hajime. Not bad." Oikawa puts his hand up for a high-five and Iwaizumi complies. The two turn their gazes to the ocean once again as they stand closer to each other with their hands brushing against one another. Oikawa looks up at the sky and lets out a breath. "Feels like Eros is flying across Nyx’s night sky tonight."

"First there was Chaos, then Eros, then Earth." Iwaizumi recalls the part he read in a book during one of Oikawa's attempt sessions to get him to like Greek mythology. "I'm picking up on all your bad interests like Greek mythology and soulmate dream theories. Have you ever had that soulmate dream of yours?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't matter anymore; I don't mind not knowing."

"You ate my ear off one time with that dream stuff. What changed?"

"Just..." Oikawa pauses and rests his head over Iwaizumi's shoulder. He takes in a deep breath then lets it out. "For the first time in what felt like a century, I don't want anything more than what I have right now. Is that so strange?" He looks up at Iwaizumi and stares into his olive-green eyes. Iwaizumi doesn't speak. Instead, he wraps his arm around the brunet's shoulder and pulls him closer. For the third time, silence creeps in again between them, but this time it wasn't an awkward silence, nor painful. It was calm and peaceful. The two still had their fears of what the future holds for them but it didn't matter because now, at that moment, they could not hear the sounds of their frightened hearts. And for now, that was enough.

The sun begins to break through the dark night sky. The pair stand still and watch as the sky turns from midnight blue sky to lilac dawn sky. "You're so short, you know that?"

"Shut it, Iwa-chan. I'm not that short."

"Sure, sure, shortykawa."

"I think I prefer shittykawa more."

"Alright then, shittykawa."

* * *

"Iwa-chan, come lie down with me!"

"No."

"Please!"

Iwaizumi sighs and looks down at the man-child in front of him. Oikawa pouts his lips sadly and pats the grass next to him. "If you think I'm gonna lie down on the grass in a public park, while it's freezing, in late-December, just because you patted your eyelashes at me-" Oikawa's face shifts from child-like joy to sadness in a flash. He doesn't push it and looks up at the sky once more. Iwaizumi mutters complaints under his breath as he gets off the bench and lies down next to Oikawa, who tries to cover his giggle with his hand.

"Shut it, shittykawa." Iwaizumi keeps glancing to his left and right. The stares of bystanders are making him anxious and nervous. He can feel his hands trembling as he holds his breath. 'I can't do this. This is too much.' The tender feeling of a hand grasping his snaps him out of his thoughts. He looks down at his hands and sees Oikawa's hands clasping his. He looks up and sees Oikawa's signature comforting smile.

"Don't worry about them. Just focus on me, okay?"

With just those few words, the world around Iwaizumi went completely silent as if nothing else exists except the two of them. Oikawa looks up at the sky while Iwaizumi continues staring at him in awe. “The stars look so captivating tonight, huh? I feel like I can’t tear my eyes away.”

“Yeah… Me neither.”

The pair lie down in silence as they stare up at the night sky for a few minutes until a voice cuts through their comfortable silence, reminding them why they were at the park in the first place.

“Uncle Tooru!”

Their heads turn to the direction the voice was coming from and see Takeru, Oikawa’s nephew, coming back with his mother. The two get off the grass quickly, fully-knowing if Takara noticed she’d scold them both with no hesitation. Takeru runs to Oikawa’s side and tugs on his hand. “Uncle Tooru, let’s get ice-cream!”

“Takeru, mommy is tired and can’t walk to the store. Next time?”

“Uncle Tooru will take me.”

“Not to be the disappointing uncle but I am sort of tired, too, Takeru-kun. I promise I’ll get you some tomorrow, okay?” Oikawa pulls the young boy in his arms who was pouting sadly. Originally, Oikawa and Iwaizumi wanted to go to the mall because the former needed a new outfit for when they go to Tokyo next week, but the plan diverted to a semi-family-hangout when Takeru wouldn’t let Oikawa’s hand go as he begged to let him tag along.

Iwaizumi watches the scene unfold in front of him; An exhausted mother and a lazy uncle trying to comfort the visibly upset child. He glances between all three of them back and forth before announcing, “I’ll take him. You guys can wait here.”

All three of them look at him with different expressions. Takara laughs nervously as she insists that he doesn’t need to, Takeru is smiling from ear to ear as he let go of Oikawa’s hand and ran over to Iwaizumi instead, and finally Oikawa, with his pleading eyes, silently begging not to be left alone.

“It’s fine. I know a store nearby; it’ll only take 10 minutes.” Iwaizumi grabs Takeru’s hand and makes his way to the store, leaving Oikawa and his sister alone.

‘Traitor,’ Oikawa thinks to himself as he huffs and sits down on the bench next to their bags. Takara joins him on the bench and stretches her arms out tiredly. “Don’t be so agitated, Tooru-kun. Your boyfriend will be back soon.”

“Shut up, nee-chan. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But you want him to be, huh?” She nudges Oikawa’s shoulder with her elbow, earning a glare from Oikawa in return. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. No need to murder me.”

Silence falls on them immediately. Oikawa grumbly leans his head away from his sister as she keeps on pulling his curls. He tries pushing her away but stops when he realizes she’s picking the tiny pieces of grass out of his hair. He could feel her shooting disappointment daggers at him but he chose to ignore it.

“You haven’t told him, have you?”

A rather uncomfortable conversation emerges once again. They’ve had this conversation before which Oikawa decided to completely pretend it never happened. He lets out a sigh and crosses his arms over his chest. “Don’t wanna.”

“Tooru, you can’t hide this forever. He’ll find out soon. Better hear it from you before—”

“Before what?” He looks over at his sister with annoyance written all over his face. This happened the last time they’ve had this conversation, too. “I told you I don’t want to talk about this again.”

“Tooru,” She reaches out to put a hand over his head which Oikawa dodges. Her eyes immediately become sadder as she places her hand over her knee where it was before. The sadness in her eyes makes Oikawa look away. “I’m sorry. You do whatever you think is right.”

Once again, silence dawns on them, leaving the trace of an uncomfortable aura behind. Oikawa knew his sister was not at fault. He knew he had to tell Iwaizumi eventually because he couldn’t bear to let him find out in another way.

_“I am saddened to inform you, Oikawa-san, that the scan results were not promising. It shows a new tumor growing at an abnormally fast rate, so I am afraid that your cancer has returned, and could perhaps be spreading as well but we’ll have to perform further tests.”_

_The entire world fell in complete silence with only those words hanging in the air: ‘your cancer has returned.’ Oikawa stared at his doctor mortified. He couldn’t let out a single breath. His mother immediately put her arms around him to pull him closer._

_“What can we do, Doctor? More chemotherapy? Another surgery?” All the possible treatments were coming out of her mouth like a cry for help. This was the last thing she ever wanted to happen, and she had to witness her worst nightmare come to life._

_“We’ll need to determine whether it has spread or not before we begin with the treatment, but in the case that it hopefully has not spread to other organs, we’ll likely be performing a lung transplant. Oikawa-san’s name is already on the waiting list and we’re hoping to find a match very soon.”_

_“And if we don’t? Find a pair of suitable lungs, I mean…” Oikawa interrupted. The terrifying aura in the room grew stronger. Everyone knew the answer to his question. They all knew what happens if you can’t obtain your only hope to stay alive. “I’ll die? Is that it?”_

_“Oikawa-san, we’ll do our best. You’ve beat this once, and I am faithful that you’ll be able to do it again. Don’t give up so soon.”_

_‘Don’t give up so soon.’ Oikawa scoffed at his words. What he had just heard did not indicate any hopes of survival. His cancer was not only back, but it could be spreading as well. He had to hold himself from screaming out in pain so it wouldn’t hurt more than it does. He stood up abruptly and walks towards the door._

_“Tooru,” Takara grabbed his hand tightly to get him to wait but he pulled away from her grip. He reached for the doorknob and twisted it open violently, closing the door behind him with a bang as soon as he was out. He felt like his heart and mind were filled to the brim with nothing but anger. He was angry at the world; angry at how the universe toyed with his life and his fate. Just when he thought the universe was smiling down at him, he received a fatal punch to his heart._

_‘Why did you give me so much to live for if I’m not going to live?’ He thought to himself. His eyes began filling up with tears until a voice cut through his thoughts and shook him to his core._

_“Oikawa!”_

_He looked behind him to see Iwaizumi running over to him. He stood still until the black-haired boy reached him and put his hand over the former’s shoulder. The black bags under Iwaizumi’s eyes were visible as a sign of exhaustion. He was panting heavily while holding the plastic bag containing the candy Oikawa asked him to buy. Oikawa knew the nearest store was two blocks away and could’ve settled for the vending machine candies although he despised it, Iwaizumi insisted he’d go buy him anything he wanted._

_Oikawa already knew Iwaizumi would do anything for him in the year and a half that he’d been blessed with knowing him, but the one thing he knew Iwaizumi would never do for him is to leave. Oikawa couldn’t bear knowing the pain he would eventually put Iwaizumi through, but even if he asked him to leave, he wouldn’t budge. He was torn between making the logical choice which was to tell him what the doctor had said or continue feeding the delusion of a long life with a happily ever after._

_“Hey, are you listening?”_

_“Uh, what?”_

_“I asked you what the doctor said. Should I go ask him? Are you not feeling well? Do you want to go lie down?”_

_This was the moment. He had to make a choice. He stared at Iwaizumi for quite a while before answering, “Oh, I caught a bad fever. The doctor said it must’ve been in the weather.” Oikawa laughs as if he had told a joke._

_Iwaizumi sighed and went on scolding Oikawa for being so careless with his health. Oikawa stopped laughing a moment later and just stared at Iwaizumi as he was getting scolded. He didn’t mind being called stupid multiple times in the same sentence. He didn’t mind Iwaizumi vowing to kick his ass if he ever lets himself get sick again. He didn’t mind standing in silence and watching Iwaizumi because every minute was more precious than it ever was, and he couldn’t waste a second._

_He just wants to be with Iwaizumi Hajime for as long as he could._

When Oikawa looks up, he sees Takeru running over with ice-cream in one hand and a bag with two large tubs of ice-cream in the other. “We’re back!” He runs into his mother’s arms once she gets off the bench.

“Did you say thank you to Iwaizumi-san?”

“Yeah, he did for, like, the entire way back.” Iwaizumi chuckles and pats Takeru’s head lightly. Oikawa gets up and dramatically hugs Iwaizumi as soon as he comes to a stop.

“Iwa-chan! Finally, you’re here to save me!”

Takara scoffs and sticks her tongue out at Oikawa. “You’re such a drama queen, Tooru-kun.”

“Wonder who I got it from, nee-chan.” Oikawa sticks his tongue out back at his sister. Iwaizumi stands still between the two siblings bickering for about 2 minutes. He looks down at Takeru who was giggling as he ate his ice-cream happily. A thought crossed his mind briefly, ‘I could get used to seeing this every day.’

Iwaizumi sighs in frustration then claps his hands together to silence the bickering siblings. “I think that’s enough for today. Let’s get going.”

Oikawa grabs the bags and walks along with Iwaizumi to the parking lot where the latter’s car was with Takara and Takeru following closely. Iwaizumi places the bags in his trunk as Oikawa gets in the front seat while the other two get in the backseat. When he gets in his seat, he looks in the mirror and sees Takeru cuddled up in Takara’s arms, both of them with eyes half-closed and ready to sleep.

He glances next to him and sees Oikawa staring back at him. He decides to mess with him a bit so he cringes when he sees his face. “Ugh. You still exist.”

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. Now drive.” Oikawa orders with a barely strict face until a giggle defeatedly breaks out through his lips. Iwaizumi, with his eyes fixed on the road ahead of him, could still see the soft smile that he adored on Oikawa’s face which brings a smile to his lips as well.

The ride back to Oikawa’s house was rather quiet because all of them fell asleep altogether. Oikawa had his head tilted against the cold glass, humming softly to a tone Iwaizumi didn’t know, while Takeru slept soundly in his mother’s arms who rested her head over her child’s and slept as well.

“Hajime.” A soft voice breaks through the quiet. Iwaizumi, knowing all too well who it was, glances at Oikawa’s side. His head was still resting against the glass, and he was staring at Iwaizumi with soft eyes and a sleepy face.

“I thought you were asleep— “

“Will you stay with me if you knew I was going to die tomorrow?”

The sudden question cuts through the silence like a sharp blade. Iwaizumi could hear his own heartbeats as they quicken rapidly in fear. Where was this coming from? Why all of a sudden?

“What… What are you—”

“If you knew I was going to die tomorrow, will you still stay with me?”

Iwaizumi feels his breath catch in his lungs. He keeps glancing between the road and Oikawa back and forth, unable to let out a single syllable. He grips tightly onto the steering wheel in fear of losing control. He wanted to scream at Oikawa why the hell is he asking such a question. He was terrified of what could that question mean.

“Never mind. I don’t want to know your answer.” The words fall off Oikawa’s lips faster than Iwaizumi could reply. In the span of a minute, Oikawa turns back to his position and wraps his arms over himself as he drifts into sleep once again. Iwaizumi feels more puzzled than before. What was this all about? Is Oikawa mad at him? He didn’t give him a chance to even respond.

He sighs out loud and rubs his temples with his free hand. He rests his elbow over the window stall then rests his cheek over his hand. The uneasiness in his heart doesn’t settle for the entire car ride.

What Iwaizumi doesn’t notice is Takara staring at the two in the rear-view mirror with worry her eyes for a moment before closing her eyes and pretending to be asleep once again.

* * *

The sounds of engines running and tires running against the dry asphalt fill the silent bus. Cold winter air sneaks in through the small window left open. The soft humming coming from the brunet resting his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder surpassed all other sounds. Oikawa was humming a song that Iwaizumi did not know for the past 5 minutes. The two were cuddled up close to each other with a travel-size blanket keeping them warm in this freezing weather.

Iwaizumi begins to feel tired, so he rests his head on top of Oikawa’s. “Do you not know any other songs or are you just too lazy to switch?”

“Mhm, I do know other songs. I just happen to really like this one, though.”

Iwaizumi doesn’t question him further and shifts carefully in his seat to get in a better position to sleep in. A few moments after closing his eyes, he felt Oikawa’s hand on top of his, which was resting over his knee, beneath the blanket. Oikawa gently nudges Iwaizumi’s hand to make him turn it over. Iwaizumi complies, and as soon as he turns his hand over, Oikawa intertwines their fingers immediately and clutches his hand tightly.

Iwaizumi rubs the brunet’s hand gently in a circular motion with his thumb as the two remain silent. In the silence, Iwaizumi is left to his thoughts once again. He recalls the night he drove Oikawa home a week ago and the question he asked.

_‘Will you stay with me if you knew I was going to die tomorrow?’_

Although the next day Oikawa’s behavior was unchanged as if nothing happened which was reassuring to an extent that he wasn’t upset, Iwaizumi still randomly thought back to this question over and over again.

He thought of what he could’ve said at that moment. ‘Oh yeah,’ he’d begin. ‘I will stay with you.’ _No. This doesn’t sound quite right._

‘How could you ask that? Of course, I will!’ _No. This sounds like guilt-tripping._

‘No, I wouldn’t.’ _Liar._

‘If you die tomorrow, I’ll die right after you.’ _No, no, no! Illogical! Cringy! Unbelievably stupid!_

Iwaizumi sighs and mentally slams his head against a wall. He’s beginning to believe maybe his silence was a much better option. “Whatever you’re thinking, please stop. You’re disturbing my sleep.”

He scoffs. “How on earth is my thinking disturbing your precious sleep, princess?”

“Your muscles are tensing, dumbass. That’s how.”

“Oh… Sorry.”

Oikawa lets out a soft giggle which he tries to hide with the blanket. “Your ability to go from smart to dense in a matter of seconds still amazes me, Iwa-chan.”

“Shut up.” Iwaizumi mumbles grumbly. Through his tough act of being annoyed with Oikawa, he tries to relax and silence his thoughts so that Oikawa would be comfortable. As if he could sense it, Oikawa squeezes Iwaizumi’s hand a little tighter.

“Oi, lovebirds. Wake up.” Iwaizumi feels a light poke to his cheek to which he groans and tries to slap the hand away. “I said we’ve arrived. Get up or I’ll book you two the honeymoon suite.”

“I heard you, Tsumu. Stop talking or I’ll shove you under this bus and run over you twice.” Iwaizumi rubs his eyes tiredly and gives Atsumu a death glare once his eyes are finally wide open. Atsumu chuckles and raises his hands in defeat as he hops off the seat in front of them and walks out of the bus.

Iwaizumi looks next to him and sees Oikawa was still asleep. Seeing how peaceful he looked, Iwaizumi didn’t want to wake him up but he had to. He reaches out with his free hand as Oikawa was still holding onto the other tightly and caresses his cheek gently. “Tooru, we’re here.”

Oikawa hums sleepily as his eyes open slowly. He stares up at Iwaizumi with his soft brown eyes which makes his heart flutter a bit. “I suppose you wouldn’t carry me if I asked you, huh?”

_‘No, I totally would.’_ “Yeah, I wouldn’t. Get up or I’ll leave you here.”

Oikawa chuckles and stretches his arms forward before getting up and following Iwaizumi out of the bus. The latter unload their bags off the bus then drags them with one hand while extending the other for Oikawa to hold. Oikawa scoffs as he grips Iwaizumi’s hand, mumbling, “You don’t have to flex. I get it, okay?”

Iwaizumi sticks his tongue out at Oikawa teasingly as they walk to the hotel. Once they step inside, Oikawa immediately lets go of Iwaizumi’s hand when he sees Atsumu approaching. “Sup, birdies. Get going with checking in your rooms because, in about an hour, we’ll have dinner together!”

“Oh, where? There is this place I’ve always wanted to go to!” Oikawa beams excitedly.

“Oh, sorry, Tooru. We’ll have to have it at the hotel this time because we have a meeting then practice early in the morning and we’re all quite exhausted, but we can totally go after the game tomorrow night.” Atsumu says in an awfully cheerful manner to make Oikawa feel better.

“But we can stay up a little late, guys!” Hinata joins in on Oikawa’s excitement, only to be let down by Sakusa and Bokuto chuckling.

“You’ll be the first one to pass out, Shouyou.”

“That’s so unfair, Kiyoomi.”

“He’s not wrong. Can’t go out past your bedtime, can we?” Bokuto teases.

As the three begin picking on Hinata, Oikawa pouts and looks at Iwaizumi, silently begging to get the team to change their minds. Iwaizumi shrugs and points towards the reception. “I’ll go get our room cards.”

Oikawa grumbly follows behind him closely and sighs once they reach the reception desk. “I have a reservation under Iwaizumi Hajime.”

“Iwaizumi-san, you are in…” The receptionist pauses as she types at the speed of lightning on the keyboard in front of her. “Room 505. Please let us handle your bags and rest for 5 minutes as we prepare the room for you. Welcome.” She hands Iwaizumi two keycards with a polite smile then she ushers the lobby workers to get the bags.

“Room 505, huh? Must be fate.” Oikawa giggles as he takes one of the keycards and puts it in his coat pocket. “Did you get a double room so we can cuddle, Iwa-chan?”

“I got a room with _two single beds_ because if I ever see you near my bed, I’ll kick you out.”

“Ugh, I just love how cruel you are, Iwa-chan.”

“Zip it, shittykawa.”

* * *

_“Hey, it’s Shouyou! I am sorry, I don’t have my phone with me right now so leave me a message after the beep!”_

_“Congratulations. You’ve reached Miya Atsumu’s phone, but it currently isn’t on me as you can hear. Hope it’s nothing important. Leave a message.”_

_“This is Bokuto Koutarou’s phone number. Bokuto is currently away from his phone. Please consider leaving a message if it’s urgent or call later. Thank you.”_

“Is that Akaashi?” Oikawa giggles as Iwaizumi sighs and shoves his phone in his pocket.

“Yeah. Bokuto begged Akaashi to record his voicemail because his voice is soothing so whoever he couldn’t answer would be calmed. You should’ve seen how this unfolded.” Iwaizumi turns on his other side to look at Oikawa, who was quite struggling to pick a t-shirt for the past 2 minutes.

Iwaizumi finished dressing 10 minutes ago and spent them calling his teammates trying to wake them up while watching Oikawa pick his outfit and take his sweet time getting ready.

“Does this mean they’re all asleep?”

“Most probably.”

“Do you want to still go get dinner or do you want to order room service?”

Iwaizumi shrugs. “Whatever you want to do.” Oikawa hums and turns his attention back to the four shirts spread on his bed. He picks up the pale green one and shows it to Iwaizumi for signs of approval.

“This one is nice.”

“You’ve said that about all of them.”

“And what does that tell you?” Iwaizumi smirks at the visibly annoyed Oikawa. The latter mutters something under his breath and picks the pale green shirt despite not getting the opinion he asked for. “Don’t be so grumpy. Just wear the others another time. We’re staying for a week.”

“Would it hurt you to give me an opinion at least instead of being on the sidelines all the time?” Oikawa chuckles as he takes off the t-shirt he was wearing. At first glance, Iwaizumi notices nothing more than Oikawa’s pale skin and thin figure, but when the brunet turns to grab his new shirt, Iwaizumi’s face drops.

“Tooru…”

Oikawa stops before putting it on and looks at Iwaizumi, slightly confused due to the look on the latter’s face. For a moment, Oikawa believes he has a bug crawling on him from Iwaizumi’s pained expression but soon realizes that wasn’t the case when he follows where Iwaizumi’s staring.

“Oh… I’m sorry, I forget they’re there sometimes.” Oikawa hastily turns away from Iwaizumi and puts on his shirt to cover up the needle scars. Dreadful memories course through his mind to which he shivers as if his body still remembers the agony he went through.

“Why are you sorry?”

“They probably… made you uncomfortable. It’s fine. It’s the usual.” Oikawa picks up his coat off the chair he threw it over and puts it on.

Iwaizumi gets off the bed and makes his way to where Oikawa stood. He picks up a creamy white scarf and places it around Oikawa’s neck. Gently, he begins tying the scarf securely around the latter’s neck, making sure he’s warm enough. “It didn’t make me uncomfortable. It made me… upset. I can’t imagine what you went through, and I wish I had been there from the start,” he trails off as he looks up to see Oikawa standing still with his mouth slightly agape. “I’m sorry. I’m being weird.”

Oikawa smiles softly at the slightly taller and nervous green-eyed man. “I wish we met earlier, too. You’re never weird in my eyes, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi lets go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding and smiles, softly whispering ‘thank you.’ He adjusts the scarf and takes a step back away from Oikawa, giving him thumbs up to signal that he’s all ready to go.

“So… Since it’s only us… Do you mind if we go to that place I suggested earlier?”

“Right this way, gentlemen.”

The pair walk next to each other closely as the waitress shows them to their table. This restaurant was divided into two floors; one for the indoor area and the other for the rooftop area. Luckily, they were able to get a table in the rooftop area just as Oikawa wanted.

As they take their seats across from each other, the waitress places down two menus in front of them and tells them to call for her when they’re ready. “This is better than I expected!” Oikawa beams excitedly as he flips through the menu. “What are you going to order?”

“I don’t know. The entire menu looks… intriguing?”

“Well, let’s order two things that we want to try the most and split them?”

“Sounds good.”

Iwaizumi puts his menu down and press the button labeled ‘service.’ They give their orders to the waitress and sit in silence for a few minutes. “Have you ever been to a fancy restaurant?”

Iwaizumi sighs and rests his chin in his hands that were resting on the table. “Countless times. Most of my meetings always had to be in some fancy restaurant. Maybe once or twice for a date but that’s it.”

“Once or twice for a date? Damn, your dating life is duller than mine, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa chuckles when Iwaizumi shoots him a death glare. The former puts his hands up in surrender as he laughs once more. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Can I ask why is your dating life so dull, though?”

“My dating life is not dull!” The words come out in a rather defensive tone more than a calm and collected one, which entertained Oikawa a bit more. Iwaizumi sighs and crosses his arms over his chest. “I just never found the right person, and I got tired of going out on meaningless dates if it’s all the same. Happy?”

“Damn. And here I thought my reason for not dating is stupid.”

“Call me stupid one more time and I’ll shove you off the stairs.”

“I don’t use the stairs, Iwa-chan.”

Oikawa sticks his tongue out teasingly, making Iwaizumi sigh in defeat. He knows he couldn’t possibly win against Oikawa. Oikawa didn’t enjoy his win for too long as the waitress came back with their order. As she places the plates according to Oikawa’s instructions, Iwaizumi silently thanks God for the rescue he was given.

Once the waitress places the last plate and excuses herself, the two begin digging into their food. “So, what’s your type?”

Iwaizumi looks up from his plate at the brunet who kept poking his hand with the chopsticks. “What kind of question is that? What are you, a high-schooler?”

“Come on, Iwa-chan, I wanna know! All this dating talk got me curious.” Oikawa whines and pouts pleadingly.

Iwaizumi sighs as he shoves food into his mouth, chewing slowly. “Uh, cute with a nice personality.”

Oikawa stares at the black-haired man for 3 seconds before bursting out in laughter. “Now, _this_ is what a high-schooler would sound like!” He says in between laughter, making Iwaizumi’s usually-pale face turn to a crimson red shade in embarrassment.

“People are staring. Stop.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Oikawa wipes a tear that has formed under his eye due to intense laughing. “I expected something a bit more specific and I got an answer that 15-year-old me would think of.”

“You’re so smart, huh? What’s your type, then?”

“I’m not a picky person. Let’s just say I’d like to be with someone with a heart that could be weighed in gold.”

“How is that different from my answer? Stupid.” Iwaizumi digs back into his food after his slightly mean remark too quickly to notice the soft look in Oikawa’s eyes who’d been staring at the black-haired one.

The soft look on Oikawa’s face quickly turns into a sad one when a painful-but-realistic thought crosses his mind, ‘Stupid,’ he thinks. ‘How long do you even have left to go around saying things like that? Besides… It’s not like he likes me back anyway.’ The visibly sad brunet sighs with his chopsticks in his hand and slowly begins to eat, not noticing Iwaizumi’s curious gaze fixed on him as he wonders what caused the brunet’s sudden change in mood.

‘Is he mad that I called him stupid? I always use worse insults… Why is he upset, now? Could it be because I mocked his type? No, he’s not _that_ childish. Ugh, what could it be?! Should I say something to lift his mood?’

“You know, Hajime…” Oikawa’s voice breaks Iwaizumi out of his thoughts. He looks up at the brunet sitting in front of him who rested his chin in his hand and had his eyes fixed on Iwaizumi and the warmest smile drawn on his lips. “Anyone would be blessed to have the privilege of knowing you.”

Iwaizumi imitates Oikawa by sitting in the same pose with a teasing friendly smile on his face. “Well, shouldn’t you thank me for gracing you with my presence, Tooru-kun?”

Oikawa’s face turns into an annoyed expression before he sticks his tongue out teasingly at his annoying best friend. “Stupid, Iwa-chan. Stupid.”

“Not so nice being the one teased, huh?” Iwaizumi chuckles as he takes a sip from his glass of water. A rather loud laugh startles him and he looks behind him to follow the source of the laugh. His gaze stops at a photo booth and eyes it for a few moments. “Hey, want to go take pictures?”

Oikawa tilts his head to the side and looks at Iwaizumi puzzled. The black-haired one points at the photo booth behind him and Oikawa follows the direction of his finger. His eyes immediately light up and exclaims excitedly, “Yes, yes! Let’s go right now!”

Oikawa gets out of his seat before Iwaizumi could get out another word. Iwaizumi sighs and presses the button that’s labeled ‘check’ as he watches Oikawa waiting in line and chatting with the elderly ladies there.

He could see Oikawa laughing at something one of the ladies said, and even though he couldn’t quite hear it because he was far and the restaurant was getting noisy, he could hear it clearly in his mind. The soft but loud laugh that makes his heart race a little.

When the waitress came with the check, Iwaizumi paid and quickly got out of his seat, making his way to where Oikawa stood. “Ah, Iwa-chan, just in time! We’re after those lovely young ladies over here.”

“Oh, you’re too sweet, young man.” The ladies say in unison and shyly laugh. One of the ladies looks at Iwaizumi and exclaims, startling him a little. “Ah, Oikawa-kun, is that your partner?”

Oikawa flushes in a deep shade of red from his cheeks to his ears. “N-no, no! He is n-not my partner. He is…” Oikawa steals a glance at Iwaizumi, noticing Iwaizumi looking quite nervous as well.

Before Oikawa could further explain, the couple in the booth walk out and make the way for the elderly ladies. The ladies say their goodbyes to the pair and leave them standing awkwardly a few feet apart.

“Do we… really look like a couple?” Iwaizumi starts, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. Oikawa chuckles shyly and looks at Iwaizumi who was still looking the other way.

“Who cares? As long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

Iwaizumi finally glances at the smiley brunet, scoffing through his smile. “Cheesy.”

The ladies walk out of the photo booth and wave goodbye to the pair before they walk in. Oikawa picks a six-photos photo template before they get in, later realizing that the booth is a bit small for the two of them together.

“Ow! You stepped on my foot, dumbass—”

_Click!_

The two are startled by the sound of the camera. Now their first photo is wasted because they’re pretty sure all that’s visible is just the two of them fighting in the tight space they’re trying to cram into.

“Iwa-chan, move a little! I can’t sit properly!”

“There’s no place! Where are you going to sit, my lap?!”

Oikawa looks at the slightly frustrated Iwaizumi with challenging eyes. Iwaizumi’s heart skips a beat when Oikawa gets up a little and does as Iwaizumi said; sit on his lap, and quite comfortably. “You— You!”

“Shush, Hajime. Picture time!” Oikawa points at the tiny red-light flickering, counting down before taking the picture. Oikawa poses; tongue sticking out of his mouth and holding up the peace sign. Iwaizumi, unable to hide his flustered cheeks, hides his face a little behind Oikawa’s shoulder so that only his eyes were visible.

_Click!_

The second photo was taken and four more to go. The light starts flickering again and Oikawa poses in a different pose, but his pose gets ruined when Iwaizumi decides to pinch his cheeks. “Ow, ow, ow! Hajimeee!” cries Oikawa, but he is completely ignored as Iwaizumi slightly tightens his grip on Oikawa’s cheeks, chuckling at how whiny Oikawa sounds.

_Click!_

Three photos. Oikawa’s hand rises to his cheek as soon as Iwaizumi’s grip loosens, rubbing the sore spot soothingly. He grumbles at the laughing black-haired man, thinking of his revenge. Once the red light starts flickering, Oikawa grabs Iwaizumi by his jaw and pulls him in. For a moment, Iwaizumi panics as he feels his heart caught in his throat.

_‘No, no, no, no. Wait_ _—_ _’_

His panic is replaced with annoyance when Oikawa bites his cheek. Not what he expected him to do, but not exactly better than what he imagined either. “Ugh, let go!” He tries to push the brunet away, but he tightens his grip on the former’s jaw to hold him in place.

_Click!_

Four photos. Once Oikawa lets go of Iwaizumi’s cheek, the latter groans in pain and punches Oikawa’s chest lightly. “Shittykawa.”

Oikawa chuckles as he stares at Iwaizumi, his cheeks growing redder by the minute. Perhaps he had bitten his cheek too hard. Iwaizumi stares back at Oikawa. The pair is silent for a moment, not realizing the light when it starts flickering once again. “Alright, let’s have one normal photo, okay?”

Oikawa smiles warmly at his best-friend. Iwaizumi never noticed but Oikawa’s smile was contagious because whenever the brunet smiled like that at him, his lips would abruptly turn into a smile on their own.

_Click!_

The sound of the camera click makes their heads turn towards it. Five photos and only one left, now. “Okay, this is the last one. This has to be a normal pose.”

Iwaizumi hesitantly wraps his arms a little around Oikawa’s waist but when he starts feeling too awkward for him to bear, he starts unwrapping his arms. Oikawa soon realizes how Iwaizumi was feeling and held tightly onto his arms to stop him. Instead, Oikawa wraps those muscular arms back around his own waist and looks at Iwaizumi, giving him a bright smile as consent.

“Look at the camera, Hajime.”

Oikawa looks ahead and rests his head over Iwaizumi’s. Iwaizumi looks at the camera and smiles as wide as he genuinely can. If he’s being frank, he never smiles genuinely unless it’s with Oikawa.

The light begins to flicker. Iwaizumi can’t see Oikawa’s face, but he’s sure he’d be smiling that adorable smile of his. Just before the final flicker of the light, Iwaizumi decides to sneakily tickle Oikawa’s stomach, making the ticklish brunet to break into uncontrollable laughter. Iwaizumi’s smile grows even wider.

_Click!_

The pair step out of the booth once they hear the machine begin to process their photos. As soon as the stripe of photos pops out of the machine, Oikawa snatches it and holds it tightly in his hand. Iwaizumi shoves Oikawa’s face out of the way to take a good look at the photos. They didn’t come out the best, and only one of them was of them smiling normally, but he loved it.

His eyes were fixated on the last photo, admiring Oikawa’s sweet laugh for a few moments until Oikawa’s whine breaks him out of his thoughts. “Stop pushing my pretty faaace!” He pushes Iwaizumi away and stands properly, taking one more glance at the photos before shoving them in his coat pocket. “Besides, this is mine, now.”

“Huh?! No way. I want them.”

“Na-uh. Mine. Go get a copy.”

Iwaizumi mumbles a few curse words under his breath at the brunet who had a sly smile adorning his face. He grumbly presses the ‘copy’ button and hears the machine processing photos once again, but nothing comes out. “Huh?”

He presses the button once more but nothing comes out, still. “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. It seems the booth has run out of film. Please excuse us and wait for approximately ten minutes, we’ll fill it up immediately.”

Iwaizumi sighs and looks at Oikawa who was standing already by the roof railing. “It’s fine. Thank you anyway.”

He makes his way to where Oikawa was and stood next to him. Mesmerized by the view of the city from above, his eyes remain glued to the sight in front of him, and he doesn’t realize that Oikawa was staring at him. “The view sure is beautiful, huh?”

Oikawa lets out a soft quick chuckle. His eyes remain fixated on the olive-eyed black-haired man standing beside him before he eventually looks away. “Yeah, it sure is.”

A realization dawns upon Oikawa at that moment. He’s happy. No, he’s not just happy. He feels as if he’s on cloud nine, floating across the sky. It’s not a foreign feeling as that has always been the only thing he feels whenever he was with Iwaizumi. It’s undeniable how Iwaizumi could make him jubilant and lively effortlessly.

The more he thinks about how he’s feeling, the more pain settles in his heart. Right now, he can’t feel completely contented because of the guilt he carries. He hasn’t told Iwaizumi about his condition until this very moment, and he’s not even sure how he could break the news to him, but he knows he has to. Iwaizumi deserves this much; he deserves to know.

Before he could let out a word, Iwaizumi’s phone ringing breaks the silence first. “Finally awake?” He answers casually which makes Oikawa assume it’s one of his teammates. “Yeah? Mhm… Okay. Okay, we’re on our way. See you then.”

“Trouble?”

“No, not at all. Atsumu was telling me they were going to get together in his room and have a room-service-dinner there. Would you like to join them?”

“Uh… sure.”

Iwaizumi tilts his head to the side and looks at Oikawa slightly puzzled. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s not that. I just… wanted to tell you something.” Oikawa starts fidgeting with the sleeve of his coat nervously. He fears looking Iwaizumi in the eye, knowing he’d probably break down in tears if he did. In an attempt to shake his fear away, he steals a glance at Iwaizumi’s face, and his face drops.

The unsettling nervousness overflows out of Iwaizumi’s eyes. Oikawa’s voice is caught in his throat. He wants to tell him, but he can’t. He has a fair idea of how Iwaizumi would react, and he didn’t want to see heartbreak make its way to his face.

‘Tomorrow after the match. I’ll just let him stay focused.’ Oikawa makes a promise to himself; a promise to eventually tell Iwaizumi the truth, just not now. No need to ruin a beautiful night.

“I’ve just… remembered how much I wanted to win the gold medal when I used to play volleyball. Since I can’t play professionally anymore… You’d better win the gold for me, Hajime.” Oikawa puts on his most believable smile. He knows Iwaizumi could sense him lying through his teeth but he had to look believable.

Iwaizumi feels his nerves settling a little. He feels skeptical, believing this is truly not what Oikawa wanted to say. He could also feel that whatever it is he wanted to say, he didn’t want to talk about it right now, so he lets it slide.

“No worries. I’ll even give you my medal to keep. How does that sound?”

“You should keep your own prizes, stupid.”

“I can keep the next one. It’s not a big deal.”

Oikawa reaches forward and pokes Iwaizumi’s nose. “Alright, mister cocky. Just win it first.”

“I will. You’ll be there to see, and you’d even cheer me on.” Iwaizumi smiles proudly as he takes Oikawa’s hand as they walk towards the exit. Oikawa silently thanks god that Iwaizumi seemed to believe him.

‘Tomorrow,’ he thought. ‘One more night wouldn’t hurt.’

“Wait, did you just call me stupid back there?”

“Yes, stupid.”

“That’s it. I’m pushing you down the stairs.”

The room door opens with a beep and two exhausted men walk in and close the door behind them. Iwaizumi grumbles tiredly as he drags his feet to his bed, throwing himself on it face down as soon as he reaches it. “Ugh, I’m beat.”

“Shouldn’t have indulged Hinata in staying up so late.” Oikawa sighs and takes off his coat, leaving it on the chair next to the door. He turns on the lights, earning a groan out of the evidently exhausted man.

“I couldn’t say no when he begs me how my little brother would,” Iwaizumi shoves his face into his pillow to avoid the painful light, making his words come out as a muffled mumble.

Oikawa chuckles softly as he hangs his coat in the wardrobe before turning to look at Iwaizumi. “You’re so easy to convince, Iwa—” Oikawa stares curiously at the still figure lying on the bed. Iwaizumi hasn’t moved an inch to even take off his clothes.

Oikawa sits down at the edge of his bed and carefully nudges Iwaizumi. “Iwa-chan? Iwaaa-chan? Are you seriously knocked out so quickly?” After a few nudges and Iwaizumi still didn’t budge, he gives up and makes his way to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, Oikawa steps out of the bathroom and notices Iwaizumi is still fast asleep. He sighs and walks to the black-haired one’s bed. He starts by taking off his jacket, careful not to wake him up, then proceeds to try to flip him on his back. Oikawa miserably fails due to Iwaizumi being heavier than he thought.

“Ugh, how do you even walk on your two legs when you’re this heavy?” Oikawa tries to give him one more push which makes Iwaizumi groan and turn on his side on his own. Oikawa sighs in relief and walks to his bed, throwing himself on it dramatically.

He closes his eyes to put himself to sleep but his racing thoughts kept him from getting the rest he needs. He felt uneasy for a reason he didn’t understand. He couldn’t tell if it was the usual uneasiness he fees before bed, or the fact that he didn’t tell Iwaizumi yet was slowly killing him.

But… if he’s frank with himself, he isn’t sure what part of ‘not telling Iwaizumi’ he was feeling uneasy about. Was not telling Iwaizumi that his cancer is back is what’s making him restless? Or was it not telling him how he feels about him?

‘Why am I thinking about this _now_?’ Oikawa whines and shoves his pillow in his face. ‘Please, just let me sleep.’ He holds the pillow in his arms and sleeps on his side, closing his eyes and silencing his thoughts.

… _Not_.

He groans quietly as he rubs his eyes tiredly. ‘Since I’m not sleeping any time soon, I might as well.’

He throws the pillow away and gets out of bed, grabbing his bag and rummaging through it until he finds his journal and a pen. He returns to his bed and sits down — more like throwing himself down — on the bed in a fetal position, placing his journal over his knees and opening a new page then begins scribbling.

_~~Dear~~ _ _Hajime…_

After 20 minutes of scribbling and scratching against the paper, Oikawa closes his journal with a tired sigh. Writing his thoughts down did help with calming him down, and now sleep is washing over him. He gets up and shoves his journal back into his bag under his clothes then makes his way back to his bed and lies down.

He looks over at Iwaizumi, quite amazed that all this noise hadn’t managed to wake him even slightly. He looks up at the ceiling and squints his eyes immediately, remembering he forgot to turn off the lights. “Ugh, stupid lights.” He turns on his other side facing the window and reaches for the switch next to his bed before stopping abruptly.

He stares at the wall-length windows and the baby blue curtains. He hasn’t realized this before but from this point of view, this room reminds him of the hospital room he was in. Just as he’s about to close the lights and get some sleep, a sigh outside the window stops him once again.

Is that… _snow?_

* * *

The annoying sound of a phone ringing disturbs Iwaizumi’s sleep. He sighs and puts a pillow over his head to drown out the noise, hoping it would stop soon. The phone stops ringing for a moment before ringing once again. He groans and stumbles out of bed, making his way to the chair where his jacket sat even though he doesn’t remember taking it off.

He fishes his phone out of his pocket and answers immediately. “What?”

“Hey, hey, hey, sleep captain. Why aren’t you up yet? I thought you promise to wake us up at 10.”

“Ugh… What time is it?”

“It is now… 11:30. We’ve been calling you for half an hour.”

“Half an hour? Jeez. I didn’t hear it at all.”

“Whatever, whatever. Get your ass ready! We’re gonna be late! I’m gonna stay with you on the phone so I make sure you don’t fall asleep again!”

“I heard you. Stop yelling.” Iwaizumi yawns and looks over at Oikawa, who seemed to be still asleep. Now that he thinks of it, it’s weird that Oikawa is still asleep. He’s always up and highly energetic by 9, and he’s also sort of a light-sleeper, so there’s no way the constant phone ringing didn't wake him up.

‘He must’ve been tired. Best not to wake him.’

Iwaizumi makes his way to the bathroom and grabs his toothbrush to brush his teeth. “Are you gonna stay on the phone the whole time?”

“Yes.”

“What if I need to pee?”

“I am not letting you go back to sleep, Iwaizumi. Oh! Atsumu told me to tell you to get Oikawa with you. We’re gonna go to this cool restaurant for lunch so he should come with you!”

“Alright, I’ll wake him,” Iwaizumi looks at sleeping Oikawa in the mirror and yells with the brush still in his mouth. “Oi, Oikawa, get up!” He turns his attention back to brushing his teeth. A few minutes pass and Oikawa hasn’t done so much as flinching.

Iwaizumi sighs and puts his brush back in the cup, yelling once again a bit louder this time. “Oikawa! I said get up already!”

“Something wrong?” Bokuto asks, clearly still on the line as he promised.

“Oikawa is sleeping heavily today. I’ll go wake him.” Iwaizumi puts his phone down and quickly washes his face, drying his hands thoroughly before grabbing the phone once more and walking back to Oikawa’s bed.

“Oikawa, five more minutes and you lose your time privilege in getting ready!” Iwaizumi nudges Oikawa’s shoulder. Still didn’t even move. “What’s wrong with you today? When did you sleep last night?”

He nudges the brunet’s shoulder once more. Despite all the yelling and shaking, Oikawa lies completely still as if he…

When realization washes over him, the phone that was in his hands drops to the floor with a bang. Iwaizumi’s knees give out and he falls to the ground next to Oikawa’s bed. He grips tightly onto the brunet with his two hands, shaking him as best as he can manage without shivering.

“Oikawa, hey, wake up.”

No response.

Iwaizumi shakes him a bit harder. “Tooru. Tooru. It’s me. Come on open your eyes.”

No response.

“Iwaizumi, is everything okay?”

Iwaizumi ignores the calls of his friend on the phone as he can’t manage to focus on anything but the brunet lying still in front of him. His entire body begins to shiver harder with each word he tries to get out. “Tooru, please. Wake up. I know you; I know you’re not a heavy sleeper, right? Please stop joking around and open your eyes. Come on.”

No response.

Air has escaped his lungs at this point. His arms stop moving but he doesn’t let go of Oikawa’s body. He refuses to believe his eyes. ‘No… This isn’t happening.’

“C-Come on, Tooru. Please d-don’t do this to me. Please. This isn’t funny. I k-know that yo-you love to joke around b-but… Please… Open your eyes, Tooru.”

Iwaizumi reaches out with his shaky hands to hold Oikawa’s face. The minute he holds Oikawa’s face in his hands, he realizes the latter wasn’t breathing. Tears fall uncontrollably out of his eyes followed by countless whimpers and sniffles. He wants to scream out for help but his voice isn’t coming out. He loses all sense of his surroundings. Hasty knocks pound against the door. Faint calls of Iwaizumi’s name from multiple voices echo through the nearly silent room.

All Iwaizumi could do was brush the hair repeatedly off Oikawa’s face, foolishly hoping that he’d soon open his eyes. The tears don’t stop pouring out of his eyes as he finally realizes what has happened. “T-Tooru,” he manages to let out between his sobs but it barely comes out as a whisper. “I lo-love you. P-Please look at me.”

He hopelessly begs, but he knows no amounts of pleas and tears could bring back someone once they’re _gone._

* * *

Black suits. Black dresses. The smell of wet grass and being in a cemetery. The sharp smell of freezingly cold winter air fills his nostrils. Quiet sobs, mumbling, and whispered conversations bang against his eardrums. Iwaizumi stands completely still with his hands in his pocket, and completely alone. His teammates and friends stood behind him in silence, getting ready to leap at the moment Iwaizumi needs their help. To his left were Oikawa’s family all gathered around his sobbing mother and sister.

Iwaizumi glances to his left to take a look at the weeping family. His entire body ached for him to move forward and comfort them but he couldn’t move a limp. He notices Takeru standing further away from his family but closer to the tombstone. Takeru hasn’t cried since he knew. He kept saying uncle Tooru would never leave them so easily.

Anyone who knew Oikawa Tooru knew for a fact he was never one to give up easily. He was too stubborn and too proud to ever be knocked down, but even his stubbornness couldn’t keep him alive.

Iwaizumi tears his eyes away and walks towards the cliff. This cemetery was built on top of a hill near the shore. The sight of the ocean and the shore was too beautiful for a place so sad. He stands a bit far from the cliff but not far enough not to see the ocean. The wind blows away his black hair and his matching black suit. He expected the ocean would make him feel something — _anything_ — but he couldn’t. His feelings along with his thoughts were all over the place. For a person who knew the end before it came, he still can’t wrap his head around the fact that he was truly gone.

Iwaizumi hears footsteps coming closer behind him and soon feels a hand over his shoulder. He flinches a little to the touch but he doesn’t look who it is. “Hey, Iwa,” Bokuto says softly as he carefully rubs circles over the shorter one’s back, offering as most comfort as Iwaizumi would let him.

The two of them stand in silence for a few minutes. A lot of things have changed the day Oikawa died; even the silence isn’t as comfortable as it was with him. Iwaizumi can’t figure out whether this change occurred because Oikawa left or because he took a part of Iwaizumi’s soul as he did. One thing he knows for sure; he _abhorred_ the change.

“I was wrong, you know.”

Iwaizumi’s monotone voice cuts through the uneasy silence. Bokuto could tell his friend has been pushed beyond his limit from the tone of his voice. “Wrong?”

“Yeah, when I told you it would hurt less if we had nothing between us to hold onto,” he sighs and looks at Bokuto with nothing but a bitter smile on his face. “Because this… hurts a-a lot, a lot more than I could’ve imagined.” His voice cracks as he speaks as if he’s forcing the words out.

Bokuto stands there, staring speechlessly at Iwaizumi. His mouth hangs open as he’s about to say something but he’s cut off by Takara calling for Iwaizumi. They both look towards Takara and watch her walk over to them.

Behind her, Iwaizumi could see people dispersed, clearly getting ready to go back home. Iwaizumi feels slight envy, wishing he could feel the slightest of ease to push him to go back to his house but he can’t move his feet. He feels like his entire body froze and is now just following wherever they’re taking him. It’s amazingly terrifying how attached you can be to a person you’ve known for only a short while.

Iwaizumi, once again, starts to feel numb. He feels his inability to speak start to hover over him once again after he’d let out those words to Bokuto. He doesn’t want Takara to see him like this. He gently pushes Bokuto’s hand off his shoulder and shoves his hands in his pockets then takes off in the other direction.

“Hey, wait, please. I have—”

“Takara-san,” Bokuto starts. “Just let him be.”

Iwaizumi stands for a minute in front of the tombstone, not exactly sure what he wanted to do. All he knows is he didn’t want to leave. He crouches in front of the tombstone and stares at it for a few moments. He still can’t find the words to say, and he doesn’t have the heart to say goodbye.

After a while, he brings his hand close to his lips and presses a light kiss to two of his fingers, then presses those fingers against the cold stone, specifically over Oikawa’s name. He takes in a deep breath and opens his mouth to speak but all he could manage was a soft whisper.

“I hope you’re happy wherever you are, Tooru. I hope we get to meet again.”

Iwaizumi stays in his position for a couple more moments until the sound of knees scratching against the grass next to him startles him. Before he could turn around to see who it was, a pair of arms were instantly wrapped around his neck. The person’s soft grasp around his neck makes him unable to move but he recognizes who it was by the sound of the sobs they were letting out.

“Thank you,” Oikawa’s mother says through her sobs. “Thank you.”

Her words bring tears to Iwaizumi’s eyes. ‘Why are you thanking me?’ he thinks, ‘ _I couldn’t save him_.’ He tries to hold himself together to be strong for her; she’s a mother who lost her child before she could even say goodbye. He reaches out and places his hand over hers, squeezing it a little.

Her face comes into view when she loosens her arms around his neck as she scoots forward to take a good look at him. She smiles warmly through her tears, her smile bearing a scary resemblance to Oikawa’s. “Don’t be a stranger, Iwaizumi Hajime.”

She places a soft kiss on Iwaizumi’s cheek before she gets up on her feet and walks away. Iwaizumi looks behind him and watches as she walks away with Takara and Takeru beside her. For the first time since the funeral, he feels truly alone. He takes one more glance at the tombstone, staring at the engraved words;

**Oikawa Tooru.**

**1996 - 2021**

**_“Someone who can’t see the opponent standing right in front of him, can’t defeat the opponent that lies beyond.”_ **

He lets out a chuckle at the quote that’s engraved. He didn’t ask but he just knows that’s the quote he chose to have, and he knows who said those words to him. “You’re cheesy even when you’re gone, Tooru.”

Iwaizumi stands on his feet once again and walks down the hill towards the parking lot where his friends waited for him to take him back home. He couldn’t exactly tell him that his home, the only one he could definitely recognize from here till evermore, is currently buried 6 feet underground.

* * *

_5 years later_. Iwaizumi races down the stairs of his apartment complex. The elevator, unfortunately, broke down on the only day he’s late to work. He passes by the security guard and greets him. “Good morning.”

”Good morning— Ah, Mr. Hajime!” The security guard calls for him before he starts rummaging through his desk. Iwaizumi stops in his tracks for a minute to catch his breath. “This came for you in the mail today. I am very sorry that your mailbox is still not available yet.”

”It’s alright. Thank you, Elijah.”

“No problem, sir.”

The minute the guard hands Iwaizumi the letter, he dashes through the front gate as quickly as he can. He hails a cab and gets in as quick as he can, “The New York Times Company, Times Square, please.”

The cab driver mumbles an ‘alright’ before he starts driving. He wasn’t living far from Times Square but he didn’t have time to spare on walking.

He lets out a sigh and looks at the letter he had in his hand. It was stamped with a couple of ‘returned to sender’ stamps, so he guesses whoever the sender was didn’t have his new address.

He doesn’t exactly blame them. He has been moving around lately, moving from country to country, staying nothing more than 5 months before he leaves for another country until he settled in New York a few months ago. ‘I should be leaving soon, though.’ He looks at the sender’s address and his eyes widen.

He hasn’t seen this address in what felt like forever. His fingers brush against the word ‘Japan’ as he lets out a sigh, feeling a sense of homesickness crashing into him.

He rips open the envelope and two papers fall out of it. One was a bit crumbled, yellowish, and looked quite old while the other looked fairly new. He decides to read the newer one first.

_“Dear Iwaizumi,_

_I hope you’re doing well. It’s been so long since I’ve last seen your face. You’re quite the busy man, aren’t you? This is my 12th time trying to send this letter to you. I guess I should’ve given up by now since you’re impossible to reach, but you know what the Oikawa family says! If you’re gonna do something, do it until you can’t! Hah... I do miss the old times most of the time. My only regret is not reaching out to you sooner. I figured if I waited for a bit you would’ve gotten better and come see us but I guess I didn’t fully understand how you felt. I apologize. And waiting for 4 years was a bit much on my part, too. I feel like I might be reopening a wound you’ve sealed and forgotten by now. But I found this one day and I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and since I came to know you a little bit, I know you would love to have this. Be safe and be happy, Iwa._

_Love, Takara (and Takeru. He’s 13, now. Can you believe it?)”_

A smile makes its way to Iwaizumi’s lips. He surely missed Takara and Takeru. He felt like the world’s biggest idiot for disappearing on them out of the blue one day but it’s too late for those regrets. He made his choices, poorly decided, or not.

He sighs and puts Takara’s letter along with the envelope in his coat pocket then begins to scan the second crumbled letter in his hand. Was this what Takara meant by ‘you’d love to have this?’

He carefully opens the crumbled letter so he doesn’t tear it and something falls out of it the minute he does. He stares down at his lap as tears begin to form in his eyes. In his lap lay a stripe of photos he hadn’t seen in 5 years.

His eyes linger on each photo for about 5 minutes. He gets completely lost in his memories for quite a while as he stares at the last picture, running his thumb over Oikawa’s joyous face. If only he had known.

A loud honk breaks him out of his thoughts and he jolts a little in his seat. “What’s wrong?”

”There seems to be a traffic jam in this area. I’m very sorry, sir. It’d be a while until we start moving.”

Iwaizumi checks the time on his phone and sighs. He really didn’t have time to waste. “I’ll be getting off here, then. Thank you so much.” He gets out of the cab and makes his way down the street.

With one hand holding the photos, he holds the letter with the other and begins to read.

“ ~~ _Dear_~~ _Hajime,_

_I don’t have a clue why I’m awake at 3:35 am trying to write this to you when you’re sleeping so soundly next to me. Whatever words I have to say, I guess I can always say them to you in person... But to be frank, I’m too terrified. I’m terrified of letting out every single feeling I have. I’m terrified you’d leave once you find out. But I’m even more terrified that you’d stubbornly stay like you always do..._

_Since I’m mindlessly ranting and I’d probably never show you this — or I would, in time — let me practice. ~~Iwa-chan,~~ ~~Iwaizumi Hajime,~~ Hajime... I still can’t say it. Even on a piece of paper that can’t even judge me, I pathetically can’t say what’s in my heart. But... you’ve felt it, didn’t you? I am praying you did. It would make this a lot easier. Ugh, but in case you’re not catching up on what I’m trying to say; I love you._

_I love you not in a ‘you’re my very dear friend’ way or ‘you give me the attention my prideful self keeps nagging for.’ I love you as in I want to be with you for a really long time. I love you as in I want to be able to hold your hand in public and give you kisses even though you hate PDA. I love you as in I really wouldn’t mind growing old with you._

_And I do... I swear to you on my corrupted and tired soul, Hajime, I really want nothing more than to grow old with you. I mean, seeing you in grey hair would be awesome roast material. Hehe._

_But I can’t. This a second thing that I have to confess... Remember the day you rushed me to the hospital when I was with you at practice? The same day I selfishly asked you to stay by my side because I needed you. It’s also the same day I found out my cancer returned._

_When I heard the news, it felt like someone took a giant sledgehammer and slammed it into all the courage and work I’ve built to get to where I was. I could clearly see it smashing into the tiniest of pieces, and behind it, you stood. You used to feel so close but then you felt getting further away from me. I felt like I was tied with a rope and getting dragged away by my inevitable death from the one person I truly wanted to live for. I knew at this point there were no hopes for treatment, and that this was the only path I’d be forced to walk._

_What a way to torment a soul._

_I wanted to tell you that day, I really did. I wanted to tell you in hopes you’d leave and spare yourself the pain of walking hand-in-hand with a dying person, but the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you’d never listen to me. I knew you’d metaphorically punch me in the gut as you yell out, “Like hell I’d leave! I’ll follow you to the end of the earth!”_

_Well... You’d sound way less dramatic saying it. And now... All I’m trying to do is give you all the joy I could before my time comes while sneaking bits of happiness for myself as well. I sound too selfish in my own head right now, but would you let me be? I might really not going to see you again at any given moment, so I may as well make as many memories as I can with you._

_I’ll take these memories with me when my time comes, and I’ll never let them go. These feelings that I have, the hope that you’ve given me, and the happiness that you’ve shown me; will be the guide for my soul to make its way back to yours._

_I just realized that I didn’t need a dream or a written script to tell me who my soulmate was because my soul had always known it belongs with you long before we did._

_I feel like I’m getting too poetic now, so I’ll spare you my cringey words for now. I hope I’d be able to tell you all of this in person one day. I’d love to see your cheeks flustered._

_Yours, since the beginning of time,_

_Tooru.”_

A couple of tears fall onto the piece of paper. A sob escapes through Iwaizumi’s lips as he tries to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. He glances at the letter one more time then switches his gaze to the photos in his other hand. A sad smile forms on his face as his teary eyes linger on Oikawa’s face.

’I love you, too, Tooru.’

He carefully places the letter in his coat pocket along with Takara’s and takes out his wallet to place the photos in it so it’s something to look at every day. Just as he’s about to put the photos in, a strong cold gust of wind whisks away the photos out of his grip.

Panic begins to rise in Iwaizumi’s heart as it begins to beat rapidly. He races after the wind carelessly, trying all he could to catch the only thing he has left of Tooru. He pushes through the crowd viciously. All sounds of complaints and yelling are blocked out at the moment. His hands are getting closer to the stripe he was chasing.

Once the photos were within his reach, he grasps them tightly and lets out a sigh of relief. He begins to regain his senses, but before he could...

” _ **Look out!**_ ”

Iwaizumi’s head turns. His eyes widen in horror. Before his legs could function, _it was all too late._ In the blink of an eye, the world went black, and his racing thoughts were silent.

_“First name; Hajime. Last name; Iwaizumi. 30 years old. Japanese. Time of death; 11:30 am. Cause of death; excessive blood loss due to a car accident.”_

Eyes slowly flutter open and gaze up at the sky. The sky is nothing but white; nothing like the normally blue sky. Iwaizumi's heart begins to race. 'Where am I? What happened? Am I dead?'

Every question on his mind was answered when a face he adores came into view. Although he looked much healthier and shone brighter, he still had the smile he loved adorning his face. In the softest voice, he whispers,

_"I've been waiting for you, Hajime."_

**Author's Note:**

>  **Takara** : a name of Japanese origins meaning _"treasure."_
> 
> Major character death? Make it double!
> 
> If you have reached this far, I am literally obligated to apologise.
> 
> Not the best gift but here we go. **Happy birthday ♡**
> 
> Special thanks to my favourite author [sallyhopewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallyhopewrites/pseuds/sallyhopewrites) for her [art cover](https://twitter.com/sallyhopewrites/status/1353523222461952000) on twitter of this story. Sorry I hurt you, Sally.


End file.
